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Need A Laugh

Mod: Lmcat Asst: acc724
Last Post: 02/15/26
Followers: 21
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DO NOT POST STOCKS HERE UNLESS YOU THINK THEY ARE A JOKE! by Lmcat
View Post by acc724
  1. SaltyMutt

    Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end ....and no sense

  2. acc724

    Shark There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of the sudden he sees this shark in the

  3. SaltyMutt

    To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

  4. SaltyMutt

    "God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at

  5. acc724

    Arriving In Heaven All arrivals in heaven have to go through a bureaucratic examination to

  6. acc724

    Three Words A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally

  7. acc724

    Jerry Seinfeld Quotes http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/jerry_seinfeld_quotes.html

  8. acc724

    Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don't realize they are 100 times more likely

  9. acc724

    Chemy sat sobbing at the police station. "I was raped by an idiot!!" she wailed. "How do you know

  10. acc724

    Brunos are from Mars, Freddies are from Mercury. One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours.

  11. acc724

    I spent my honeymoon ice fishing. Best day of my life.

  12. acc724

    The department manager is a wise, friendly old man, and one day, during an interview in his office

  13. acc724

    Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married. A wireless bra? They weren't tricky enough,

  14. acc724

    Studies show that its totally okay for me to just say studies show in front of whatever I

  15. acc724

    My wife just told me to go to hell,anyone else need anything from Walmart? I always pick up a

  16. acc724

    I never wanted to believe that my Dad stole from his job as a road worker, but when I got home,

  17. acc724

    A blonde lost her dog. < Her boyfriend suggested she post an ad on craigslist. A week later the

  18. acc724

    My wife is capable of multiple sarcasms. Autocorrect has been around for a long time. I got

  19. acc724

    Innocent Look A local bar regular had been drinking all night. This particular night the

  20. SaltyMutt

    I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness. Bill

  21. SaltyMutt

    Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. Isaac

  22. SaltyMutt

    ''Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.'' Marion

  23. SaltyMutt

    You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a

  24. SaltyMutt

    Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the

  25. SaltyMutt

    Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

  26. acc724

    Its friday afternoon and a class of second graders are waiting to go home, the teacher stands

  27. acc724

    A drunk lay slumped outside a bar, in serious need of a drink. A passing priest and bishop

  28. acc724

    Somewhere, a real Nigerian prince is sitting at his computer wondering, "Why oh why does nobody

  29. acc724

    ***Embarrassment at Starbucks... ...Life just gets better as you get older doesn't it?

  30. acc724

    **Husband Down Aisle 5** (A little Old) ..A husband and wife are shopping in their local

  31. acc724

    Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. ..A few days later, the

  32. SaltyMutt

    When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a

  33. SaltyMutt

    "A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." Bill Cosby

  34. SaltyMutt

    You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the

  35. acc724

    good evening salty..yep they are..life here is good

  36. SaltyMutt

    Good morning acc. Hope you have things under control.

  37. SaltyMutt

    The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. Albert

  38. acc724

    My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on. I

  39. acc724

    Marriage After Brian proposed to Jill, his father took him to one side. Son, when I first got

  40. acc724

    DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long

  41. acc724

    Johns Hopkins Weight Study: The National Institute of Health has just released the results of a

  42. acc724

    Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people. We havent met yet.

  43. acc724

    HOW WOMEN THINK: CALL FROM HUSBAND (From Cell Phone): Hi Honey, I got hit by a car in

  44. acc724

    They say 'No news is good news,' but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy. The only

  45. acc724

    Joe was in the hospital and it was time for lunch. He looks at his lunch and says, "I don't like

  46. acc724

    WOMEN WOMEN WOMEN A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one

  47. acc724

    This strip mall certainly is misleading, and I probably should put my clothes back on now.

  48. acc724

    I always laugh when people say, Another day, another dollar, because I make like five times

  49. acc724

    Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships, I'm left wondering. . .Is it my wife

  50. acc724

    Greeting Cards You'll Never See My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the