Vegans think they will live longer than us, but
Post# of 3036
Posted On: 05/02/2014 9:27:23 PM
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Vegans think they will live longer than us, but
they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation.
Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking.
Me: No, really, I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.
Everybody values honesty, until they have
an ugly baby.
Ended a relationship today. Don't worry, it wasn't mine.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls.
Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That's how it works.
Few people have the balls to admit when they're
wrong.
Then again, few people have talking balls.
Based on the rate of sagging pants,
it is predicted that by 2017, people will just pull their pants behind them with a rope.
If you pour two beers in one glass, it's just one beer.
Just updated my resume. Changed 'ambitious' to '
'am-no-longer-bitious'.
*grabs knife, cuts forehead, lies on floor* Wife walks in: "WHAT HAPPENED?"
"A burglar came in right when I was about to clean the house"
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should
]know that I'm typing this with my middle finger.
The REAL 5 second rule?
If you can get to it before the dog, it's yours.
they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation.
Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking.
Me: No, really, I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.
Everybody values honesty, until they have
an ugly baby.
Ended a relationship today. Don't worry, it wasn't mine.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls.
Koalas will be koalas. Just about everything will be the things they are. That's how it works.
Few people have the balls to admit when they're
wrong.
Then again, few people have talking balls.
Based on the rate of sagging pants,
it is predicted that by 2017, people will just pull their pants behind them with a rope.
If you pour two beers in one glass, it's just one beer.
Just updated my resume. Changed 'ambitious' to '
'am-no-longer-bitious'.
*grabs knife, cuts forehead, lies on floor* Wife walks in: "WHAT HAPPENED?"
"A burglar came in right when I was about to clean the house"
Dear Customer Service: First of all, you should
]know that I'm typing this with my middle finger.
The REAL 5 second rule?
If you can get to it before the dog, it's yours.
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