My wife just told me to go to hell,anyone else nee
Post# of 3036
Posted On: 05/02/2014 9:22:24 PM
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My wife just told me to go to hell,anyone else need anything from Walmart?
I always pick up a huge cucumber up at Walmart
and yell to my wife, "you said you wanted the biggest one right?". Because I'm a great husband.
'50 shades of gray'
-worst set of crayola colored pencils ever.
I'd get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
I learned two important lessons today.
I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
The travel toothbrush has to be the greatest
invention ever.
Can you imagine having to lug around one of those regular heavy ones?
Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge,
you need typosuction.
My wife has just come home and asked how things
went with the baby.
Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her.
My friend used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies.
Now she's good at everything.
I'm just like King Midas, except everything
I touch complains to human resources.
*Hitler leans in close to the mic*"and the next person to question me gets executioned."
*grammar nazi bites lip*
As you get older dating becomes a lot like Musical Chairs.
The music stops, everyone sits down and you're left with the last idiot standing.
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks
of themselves and they'd never get caught.
Bruce Willis is never content with how hard he dies.
The only thing I want written on my tombstone is "I'm standing right behind you."
I always pick up a huge cucumber up at Walmart
and yell to my wife, "you said you wanted the biggest one right?". Because I'm a great husband.
'50 shades of gray'
-worst set of crayola colored pencils ever.
I'd get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
I learned two important lessons today.
I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down.
The travel toothbrush has to be the greatest
invention ever.
Can you imagine having to lug around one of those regular heavy ones?
Girl, yo grammatical atrocities so huge,
you need typosuction.
My wife has just come home and asked how things
went with the baby.
Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her.
My friend used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies.
Now she's good at everything.
I'm just like King Midas, except everything
I touch complains to human resources.
*Hitler leans in close to the mic*"and the next person to question me gets executioned."
*grammar nazi bites lip*
As you get older dating becomes a lot like Musical Chairs.
The music stops, everyone sits down and you're left with the last idiot standing.
Famous people could rob banks wearing masks
of themselves and they'd never get caught.
Bruce Willis is never content with how hard he dies.
The only thing I want written on my tombstone is "I'm standing right behind you."
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