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Posted On: 03/03/2017 4:49:12 PM
Post# of 5246
I wrote "Place sacrifice here"…
on the baby changing station in the Wal-Mart men’s room.
It's bullshit that my dog...
is a licensed therapy dog and he can't prescribe medication.
I used to sing my daughter to sleep at night…
which is probably why her first word was “Stop.”
Her: A girl named "Bambi" called 6 times...
to see if you could go skinny dipping. So, do you have a thing to say for yourself?
Me: Can I go?
Her: "You're so skeptical of everything."
Me: "I can't believe you just said that."
I found the worst page in the entire dictionary.
What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
My wife snores so loud, I'm seriously considering
soundproofing the wall between our rooms.
My wife told me this morning she'd like to have
breakfast in the nude, just like we used to do when we were first married. After much badgering, I finally agreed and sat down naked at the table and started eating.
She sat across from me, chin in her hands, all cow-eyed. "You know dear, even after all these years, you can still make my nipples burn with desire.
I slammed my spoon down on the table. "That ain't desire burning your nipples old woman. One's in your oatmeal and the other's in your coffee!"
on the baby changing station in the Wal-Mart men’s room.
It's bullshit that my dog...
is a licensed therapy dog and he can't prescribe medication.
I used to sing my daughter to sleep at night…
which is probably why her first word was “Stop.”
Her: A girl named "Bambi" called 6 times...
to see if you could go skinny dipping. So, do you have a thing to say for yourself?
Me: Can I go?
Her: "You're so skeptical of everything."
Me: "I can't believe you just said that."
I found the worst page in the entire dictionary.
What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
My wife snores so loud, I'm seriously considering
soundproofing the wall between our rooms.
My wife told me this morning she'd like to have
breakfast in the nude, just like we used to do when we were first married. After much badgering, I finally agreed and sat down naked at the table and started eating.
She sat across from me, chin in her hands, all cow-eyed. "You know dear, even after all these years, you can still make my nipples burn with desire.
I slammed my spoon down on the table. "That ain't desire burning your nipples old woman. One's in your oatmeal and the other's in your coffee!"
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