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Posted On: 03/03/2017 4:51:15 PM
Post# of 5246
I hang strobe lights from our bedroom ceiling,
to create the illusion that my wife is moving during sex.
Friend: "Is your wife outspoken?"
Me: "Not by anyone I know of."
My wife is so tired at the end of the day,
she can hardly keep her mouth open
.
Wife: "Let's go out and have some fun tonight."
Me: "Great, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."
Wife: "Why do you keep reading our marriage license?"
Me: "I'm looking for the expiration date."
Woke up hungover to the sound of my ASSHOLE neighbor mowing his lawn at 8am!.
Well he'll just have to mow around me today, I ain't moving!
Divorce is God's way of keeping men from being hoarders!
I phoned in to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act.
The voice said: "Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show................."
to create the illusion that my wife is moving during sex.
Friend: "Is your wife outspoken?"
Me: "Not by anyone I know of."
My wife is so tired at the end of the day,
she can hardly keep her mouth open
.
Wife: "Let's go out and have some fun tonight."
Me: "Great, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."
Wife: "Why do you keep reading our marriage license?"
Me: "I'm looking for the expiration date."
Woke up hungover to the sound of my ASSHOLE neighbor mowing his lawn at 8am!.
Well he'll just have to mow around me today, I ain't moving!
Divorce is God's way of keeping men from being hoarders!
I phoned in to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act.
The voice said: "Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show................."
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