Adutery is a sin, you can't have your Kate and Edi

Adutery is a sin, you can't have your Kate and Edith too !

My nephew told me that when he grows up, he wants to be a pizza delivery guy, or a pool skimmer.
I need to tell my brother to do a better job at hiding his porn.

Every time I change my underwear................
...................I'm reminded of why they call these the "golden" years.

I like fur lined underwear
It's like ball to ball carpet

What do you call two witches that live together?
BROOM mates !

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says, snickering,
If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat.." He raised an eyebrow and replied,
If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself."

I was surprised to learn that Elon Musk was born in South Africa.
I always thought he was born in Mad-at-gas-car.

I couldn't remember the name of the late
anti-apartheid leader from South Africa, but then I put Tu and Tu together.