My proctologist just gave me two thumbs up. Whic
Post# of 5246
Posted On: 09/01/2015 5:35:32 PM
My proctologist just gave me two thumbs up.
Which I did not appreciate.
Hillary walks into a bar. Bartender says,
"The ¦¦ ¦¦¦¦ is ¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦ and ¦¦ ¦¦¦¦!"
At job interview:
"So do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?"
Can I wait a week until I take the drug test?
Dating my ex is like a walk in the park.
Jurassic Park.
Just got a Life Alert bracelet.
Now, if I ever get a life, I'll be alerted immediately.
I'm optimistic, though.
My life is only half full of shit.
In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time.
10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends.
Stay in school kids.
I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions
without reading them, and apparently I’m now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates’ pants.
Fun prank:
Walk into any flower shop and ask to see the chlamydias. That never gets old.
I'm more of a leader than a follower, unless
you're wearing yoga pants.
Which I did not appreciate.
Hillary walks into a bar. Bartender says,
"The ¦¦ ¦¦¦¦ is ¦¦¦¦¦ ¦¦¦¦ and ¦¦ ¦¦¦¦!"
At job interview:
"So do you have any questions you'd like to ask me?"
Can I wait a week until I take the drug test?
Dating my ex is like a walk in the park.
Jurassic Park.
Just got a Life Alert bracelet.
Now, if I ever get a life, I'll be alerted immediately.
I'm optimistic, though.
My life is only half full of shit.
In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time.
10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends.
Stay in school kids.
I accepted the Microsoft terms and conditions
without reading them, and apparently I’m now responsible for hemming all of Bill Gates’ pants.
Fun prank:
Walk into any flower shop and ask to see the chlamydias. That never gets old.
I'm more of a leader than a follower, unless
you're wearing yoga pants.
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