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Eric Trump Asks Dad if He Can Have Donald, Jr.,’s Room

By Andy Borowitz



WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Eric Trump has asked his father, Donald Trump, if he can have his brother Donald, Jr.,’s room, Eric Trump confirmed on Monday night.

“Don, Jr., got this ginormous room, and I got a crappy little one,” Eric Trump said. “Don, Jr., got to work in the real-estate company, and I got stuck with the winery. But all that’s about to change.”

Eric Trump said that, although his father had not yet responded to his request, he was optimistic that his wish would be granted. “It looks like Don, Jr., might not be needing his room for quite some time,” he said, barely suppressing a grin.

He added that he had not discussed the future of Donald, Jr.,’s room with his brother. “I’ve had to put up with Don, Jr.,’s bullshit my entire life,” he said. “Don, Jr., this, Don, Jr., that. Don, Jr., is the king of all he surveys. Seriously, Don, Jr., can suck it. I’m getting his room.”

Asked if he had a message for his brother, Eric Trump paused for a moment and said, “Yes. I’ve waited my whole life for this moment. And you know what they say? Revenge is a dish best served after you’ve waited your whole life for this moment.”

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