Hey scout, I think you are catching on here. Couple of pointers for you-first, you ARE going either to heaven or hell-there is no sorta probation area or middle ground. Second, its hard for all of us, but we are not to judge-remember Jesus said "let he who is without sin cast the first stone." And maybe the hardest is to forgive. What if Jesus didn't forgive us of our sins. So we should try, as hard as it may be, to forgive these who have wronged us. Hang in there-you're doing good.