A busy couple whose schedules allowed them to have sex only once a month bought a box of 12 condoms so they would be set for a year. Three months down the road, the wife went to get one and found the box empty. "What happened to the other 10 condoms?" she asked. He nervously replied, "Er, I masturbated with them." Later she shared the story with a male friend and asked, "Have you ever done that?" "Yeah, once or twice," he told her. "You mean you've actually masturbated with a condom?" she asked. "Oh," he said, "I thought you were asking if I'd ever lied to my wife."