Lawyers should never ask a question if they aren

Lawyers should never ask a question if they aren't prepared for or already know the answer.


In a small Southern town, during a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first  witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her in a friendly manner and  asked, 'Mrs. Peters, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, of course I know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy and, frankly, you've  been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're  a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a 2-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' 

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,

'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' 

She again replied, 'Why yes, of course I do, I’ve lived in this town all my life. . I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He  can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the  worst in the entire state. Not to mention he has cheated on his wife with 3 different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I definitely know him.' 

The defense attorney nearly died. 

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'