Kelt, thanks for all you've just opened up and sha

Kelt, thanks for all you've just opened up and shared with us here.  I wonder how much of this weekend's quiet on the board is people like me being blown away that you would share so much that's very personal - and dealing with all the thoughts you bring up.

First thing that came to my mind is my daughter's situation.  Her husband has a crippling, possibly fatal condition - myelofibrosis.  Last week she told me that her in-laws have let them know that whatever happens with her husband's health, they will never have to worry about money.  These folks have enough to make that commitment to their son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren.  Partly as a result of that support, they've started another baby, bought a piece of land and are building a new home.  I don't see how they could have started on all that without knowing there was a financial way to take care of my daughter and the kids if the worst possible case comes to be.  This was all stimulated by what you've written about securing your family.

Another thought comes to mind.  Back in the 80's the comedian John Clees wrote a book with his psychologist - I think named Robin Cook.  The book is titled: FAMILIES AND HOW TO SURVIVE THEM.  Anyhow, in one chapter they talk about how to recognize stress in your life and a healthy way to deal with it.  They have a list of common stressors and give each  a numerical rank.  For example, loss of a job might be a 20, etc.  So they recommend that you go down the list and if your various stressors add up to 100 or more, it's time to recognize that you can't expect yourself to perform as "normal".  It's time to recognize what's going on and change tack accordingly.  The thing on the list that surprised me most at the time was that the illness of a loved one is more of a stress to us than the illness of our own self.  This is a long winded way of agreeing with you about the importance of doing what we can to take care of our family financially.  No one can replace a lost loved one, but life will go better if they don't have  big financial stresses.  It sure is helping out with my daughter's state of mind.

Tom