Ok, since it looks like joke day.... Church Servi

Ok, since it looks like joke day....

Church Services in the very near future.

PREACHER: Praise the Lord.

CONGREGATION: Hallelujah!

PREACHER: Please turn off your cell phones at this time.

Can we please turn our tablet PC, iPad, cell phone, kindle Bibles to 1 Cor. 13:13.

And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.

PREACHER: Let us pray, committing this week into God's hands.

Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook and chat with God.

PREACHER: Please have your credit and debit cards ready as we shall now take the offering.

You can log on to the church Wi-Fi using the password Lord909887.

Ushers circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers.  Those who prefer to make electronic funds transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church and those who prefer to use iPads are allowed to flip them open.  Those who prefer telephone banking are allowed to take out their cell phones to transfer their contributions to the church bank account at this time.

(The holy atmosphere is truly electric as the cell phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!)

ANNOUNCEMENTS.

This week's cell meetings shall be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place.  Please don't miss out.

Wednesday's bible teachings will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs CST.  Please don't miss out.

You can follow your Preacher on Twitter this weekend for counseling and Prayers.  God bless you and have a wonderful week!