Now hold on just a minute, my friend. First of all, let the record show that no actual opossums (or possums, or possums with passports) were harmed in the writing of that post. That aroma I mentioned was purely metaphorical… though I did grow up in West Virginia, so I understand why that might raise suspicion.
You are absolutely right on the taxonomy lesson. I humbly stand corrected. What we have roaming under sheds and staring into your soul at 2 a.m. are indeed opossums, and they wear that title proudly. That hairless tail isn’t ugly, it’s tactical. Creation’s version of “don’t mess with me.”
As for the one under your shed, think of him less as a varmint and more as a misunderstood consultant. He shows up uninvited, refuses to leave, and contributes absolutely nothing while somehow surviving every economic downturn. So yes, the BP comparison tracks disturbingly well.
And listen, Christmas grace only stretches so far. There’s room in the Inn for peace, goodwill, and forgiveness… but shed squatters and price shorting still get a hard side eye. Even the shepherds would understand.
Here’s hoping the New Year brings fewer nocturnal visitors, fewer greedy paws in the cookie jar, and a full blown CYDY Tsar Bomba that lights up the sky so brightly even the opossums stop playing dead and start paying attention.
Merry Christmas to you, your shed, and your highly educated wildlife vocabulary. ????
Hillbilly
You are absolutely right on the taxonomy lesson. I humbly stand corrected. What we have roaming under sheds and staring into your soul at 2 a.m. are indeed opossums, and they wear that title proudly. That hairless tail isn’t ugly, it’s tactical. Creation’s version of “don’t mess with me.”
As for the one under your shed, think of him less as a varmint and more as a misunderstood consultant. He shows up uninvited, refuses to leave, and contributes absolutely nothing while somehow surviving every economic downturn. So yes, the BP comparison tracks disturbingly well.
And listen, Christmas grace only stretches so far. There’s room in the Inn for peace, goodwill, and forgiveness… but shed squatters and price shorting still get a hard side eye. Even the shepherds would understand.
Here’s hoping the New Year brings fewer nocturnal visitors, fewer greedy paws in the cookie jar, and a full blown CYDY Tsar Bomba that lights up the sky so brightly even the opossums stop playing dead and start paying attention.
Merry Christmas to you, your shed, and your highly educated wildlife vocabulary. ????
Hillbilly
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