Verdict in the New York case "Your Honor, we ha
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Posted On: 05/28/2024 10:58:11 AM
Verdict in the New York case
"Your Honor, we have a divided jury. Six of us say he's Guilty, two Incredibly Guilty, two Fucking Guilty, one Guilty as Hell and one So Guilty There Aren't Words To Describe It."
"Jury, you are hereby ordered to return to the jury room and unify your findings."
...ten minutes later...
"Have you reached a united verdict, foreman?"
"Your Honor, we have. We've decided he's Guilty as Hell, so say we all."
"Do you have a recommended sentence?"
"Nothing that wouldn't violate the Eighth Amendment, Your Honor, but we'll be okay with it if you give him thirty years in Sing Sing."
"What sentences that violate the Eighth Amendment did you come up with?"
"Juror Eight recommended we stuff him in a 55-gallon oil drum and throw him over Niagara Falls. We all thought that was a good idea. Juror Six recommended the guillotine, but we quashed that because none of us know how to make one and the French National Museum won't loan us theirs."
"I don't think I can go along with the oil drum idea, as creative as it is. I mean, come on. You've seen him, right? How would we get him in it?"
"How about welding two barrels together? That would work."
"It would, but I'm going to stick to your original suggestion and just put him in prison. Bailiff, record a verdict of Guilty as Hell and take him away."
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100218981179
9. I'll bet you 10 push-ups and a large order of onion rings...
Mon May 27, 2024, 03:25 PM
...that he's guilty of a felony. If it wasn't for two attorneys on the jury I'd imagine a possible hung jury. Anyone 'unsure' on that jury is going to have the law explained to them in a way they can't argue with. Just sayin'.
"Your Honor, we have a divided jury. Six of us say he's Guilty, two Incredibly Guilty, two Fucking Guilty, one Guilty as Hell and one So Guilty There Aren't Words To Describe It."
"Jury, you are hereby ordered to return to the jury room and unify your findings."
...ten minutes later...
"Have you reached a united verdict, foreman?"
"Your Honor, we have. We've decided he's Guilty as Hell, so say we all."
"Do you have a recommended sentence?"
"Nothing that wouldn't violate the Eighth Amendment, Your Honor, but we'll be okay with it if you give him thirty years in Sing Sing."
"What sentences that violate the Eighth Amendment did you come up with?"
"Juror Eight recommended we stuff him in a 55-gallon oil drum and throw him over Niagara Falls. We all thought that was a good idea. Juror Six recommended the guillotine, but we quashed that because none of us know how to make one and the French National Museum won't loan us theirs."
"I don't think I can go along with the oil drum idea, as creative as it is. I mean, come on. You've seen him, right? How would we get him in it?"
"How about welding two barrels together? That would work."
"It would, but I'm going to stick to your original suggestion and just put him in prison. Bailiff, record a verdict of Guilty as Hell and take him away."
https://www.democraticunderground.com/100218981179
9. I'll bet you 10 push-ups and a large order of onion rings...
Mon May 27, 2024, 03:25 PM
...that he's guilty of a felony. If it wasn't for two attorneys on the jury I'd imagine a possible hung jury. Anyone 'unsure' on that jury is going to have the law explained to them in a way they can't argue with. Just sayin'.
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