AR Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders has declared a
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every now and then Sarah Huckabee Sanders does something idiotic enough to make the news — and all of a sudden you’re reminded that holy shit, this low-wattage underachiever who spent three years lying for a fascist sack of shit is actually the Governor of Arkansas. what the fuck, voters? how on God’s green earth could you have allowed this to happen? were you drunk last election day?
Gov. Sanders declares state of emergency ahead of eclipse
Sanders said in the release that she released funds from the Response and Recovery Fund to help commercial carriers transport essentials to customers in the state during the eclipse.
The essential items listed in the order include groceries, pharmacy items, medical equipment, goods, commodities, fuel, poultry, livestock and feed. why, Sarah? the totality of the eclipse will be about 4 minutes. what do you expect is going to happen?
what “essentials” will need to be transported during 240 seconds of darkness?
quick! we have a poultry emergency in Little Rock! the chickens think it’s night and fell asleep! send out the commercial carriers! alert the — oh wait, the sun’s already coming back out.
Sarah, I hope you’re sitting down right now. I don’t know how to break this to you, but it gets dark every night — for hours on end. and somehow, inexplicably, civilization manages to emerge intact every morning.
did I just blow your mind?
was there no one on your staff to take you aside and point out how insane this is?
oh, and Sarah — who dresses you?
are you auditioning for a community theater production of Annie Get Your Gun?
The order will allocate $100,000 from the fund to address program and administrative costs and will be managed by the director of the Arkansas Division of Emergency Management..
The state emergency will remain in effect until April 10.
April 10! this state of emergency for a 4-minute eclipse this afternoon will last until Wednesday — and will cost the state a cool hundred grand. it’s the biggest waste of Arkansas’ money since Sarah spent $19k on a podium as a political favor to a crony.
of course, the clownfuckery wasn’t happening only in the Arkansas Statehouse.
Congresswoman Sporkfoot has been thoroughly dragged by the entire internet for interpreting a regularly-occurring, predictable astronomical event as a vengeful act of a wrathful god.
https://www.jefftiedrich.com/p/states-of-emer...dium=email