1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
3.If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4.If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6.Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10.Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11.Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15.Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16.If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17.If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18.If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19.If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20.Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23.How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25.Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26.Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27.Still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.
Threw out my back sleeping and tweaked my neck sneezing so I’m probably just one strong fart away from complete paralysis.
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers: If you do find one, what’s your plan?
Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the ‘cool table’ in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.
I too was once a male trapped in a female body…but then my mother gave birth.
When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, “Possibly, but I wouldn’t count on it."
We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of bother
Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wore their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
For those of you that don’t want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, they are making a male version; it doesn’t listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, ‘From Mom and Dad,’ and I know darn well that Dad has no idea what’s inside.
2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
3.If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4.If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6.Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10.Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11.Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15.Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16.If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17.If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18.If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19.If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20.Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23.How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25.Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26.Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27.Still trying to get my head around the fact that ‘Take Out’ can mean food, dating, or murder.
Threw out my back sleeping and tweaked my neck sneezing so I’m probably just one strong fart away from complete paralysis.
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers: If you do find one, what’s your plan?
Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the ‘cool table’ in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.
I too was once a male trapped in a female body…but then my mother gave birth.
When I lost the fingers on my right hand in a freak accident, I asked the doctor if I would still be able to write with it. He said, “Possibly, but I wouldn’t count on it."
We live in a time where intelligent people are silenced so that stupid people won’t be offended.
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have begun asking humans to prove they aren’t a robot.
If Adam and Eve were Cajuns they would have eaten the snake instead of the apple and saved us all a lot of bother
Weight loss goal: To be able to clip my toenails and breathe at the same time.
After watching how some people wore their masks, I understand why contraception fails.
For those of you that don’t want Alexa or Siri listening in on your conversation, they are making a male version; it doesn’t listen to anything.
I just got a present labeled, ‘From Mom and Dad,’ and I know darn well that Dad has no idea what’s inside.
