I'm beginning to think you might also need to do s

I'm beginning to think you might also need to do some time on Old Doc Freud's couch. He'll probably refer you to Old Doc Shademeister for some red pill therapy and a much needed lobotomy. Although you sound pretty much like a hopeless case, Old Doc Shademeister's industrial strength red pills have been known to work miracles. I'm hoping that he will soon have you soon seeing the light.