I asked my wife why we never have sex anymore. "S
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"Speak for yourself wasn't the answer I was expecting...
A lot of people struggle with their mental health.
I know, because I struggle with my mental health, and I'm a lot of people.
I hate the stigma about mental health.
Soon after I got my schizophrenia medication, my friends stopped talking to me.
The woman's dating profile stated she was a "health and fitness junkie."
I thought, "At least we have one of those things in common."
I told the grandkids about the importance of
eating dried fruits. It's all about raisin awareness.
My boss is into healthy eating, but Friday is his cheat day.
That's the day he bangs his secretary.
Did you hear about the guy who was aroused by tastes and smells.
He finally came to his senses.
What do you call a group of Mexican inch worms ?
Inch-a-lotta
Boy worm: "Mom, have you seen dad ?"
Mom: "He went fishing with the guys."
How does a blonde kill a worm ?
She buries it alive.
I know she ate worms, but......................
We're not here to debate de bait Deb ate.
When I was a kid, my parents would always say "Excuse my French" after a swear word.
I'll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked if anyone knew any French.
A homeless guy asked me for money today… so I looked in my pocket for change, but all I had on me was a $20 bill.
I thought to myself “Do I really want this $20 going towards drugs?…Nah”
So, I gave him the 20.
My Cologuard box was too small
I called Cologuard customer service and said, this box is too small, I can't put shit in it.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now I have this weird axe-scent.
Dark humor is like sex----
Some people just don't get it.
Source, SHORENUFFSTUFF at ihub>>>
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