Who Put the Fun in Non-Fungible Tokens?
Friday, December 16th, 2022
by Shower Cap | American Madness Journal | 0 comments
https://showercapblog.com/who-put-the-fun-in-...le-tokens/
It’s been said there’s a sucker born every minute, though scientists currently estimate that number may be as high as 4.39. The question is, after three years of guzzling horse dewormer, how many are still alive to buy NFTs?
Donald Trump is like some Dickensian avatar of chiseling for chiseling’s sake. And we made him President of the United States, where one of his big accomplishments was wringing piss money out of the Secret Service. I’ve said this before, but I guarantee you the pockets of every ill-fitting suit in the guy’s closet are stuffed with tiny fistfuls of restaurant mints.
But Jesus Christ, what do you even say about a con petty enough to make Mike Flynn and Steve Bannon feel cheap? Except that it WORKED, that the almost tauntingly shitty “digital trading cards” sold out within 24 hours?
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good polling-induced Dotard tantrum as much as the next fellow, but until Ron DeSantis has a legion of fevered drones he can bleed for millions of dollars whenever the fancy strikes him, they’re not in the same league, at least as far as the GOP’s cultified politics are concerned.
Of course, Ron-Ron managed to identify the one godforsaken patch of the wingnut fever swamp from which someone could potentially out-crazy/outflank Donald Trump with the maniac MAGA base, and guess where he’s decided to set up camp? Gonna win the primary by pandering to anti-vaxxers, what a fun, healthy strategy that is.
Wouldn’t want to interrupt your very serious postmortem of what historians are already calling the Inflation Sucks But Y’All Ain’t Right in the Head midterms, I’m sure Blake Masters’ insight is both thrilling and valuable, but maybe stop trying so hard to be the party of unhinged dipshits?
How are these lessons still so fucking unlearnable? How am I still reading shit like, “Rick Scott says Herschel Walker will continue to be a leader in our party for years to come?” Why would you want that? Why would you buy another ticket for the Herschel Walker ride? What about that experience are you so eager to repeat?
You’ve got Marjorie Taylor Greene stumbling around, shrieking about butt plugs, defiantly spouting the sort of violent rhetoric that led to her censure, and you’re talking about putting her on House Oversight? To be the face of your party during all these televised hearings on Dr. Fauci and Hunter Biden’s pee-pee and furry kids using litter boxes in school?
https://www.advocate.com/news/2022/12/15/marj...and-dildos
How do y’all imagine that’s gonna work out for you? I think you’re overestimating the number of persuadable voters who spend their free time pacing the aisles of toy stores, muttering furiously about diversity trends in the American Girl doll line. Most of us don’t have the luxury of caring about such stupid, stupid shit.
But in conservative politics, the loudest asshole is King. Speaking of which…
The hardest part of writing about Elon Musk is the constant need to find fresh synonyms for “pathetic.” The man is on a cringe bender, hemorrhaging credibility and billions of dollars as he stomps his way down the well-worn path trod by every mewling MAGA mediocrity that just. won’t. shut. the. fuck. up.
There’s nothing in the world more tedious than a freshly blackpilled dude. That desperation to paper over personal failings with conspiracy theories and victimhood…nobody wants to go to that party, Elon. Nobody that doesn’t suck, anyway. “Groomer rhetoric and replacement-level shitposting, BYOB.” Ah jeez, as amusing as it’s been, watching you wiggle your ass for likes from the Q crowd, I’ve, uh, got a thing that night.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3pjkw/elon-m...ting-qanon
But congratulations on discovering pronoun jokes, kid. You’re right on the cutting edge. I bet you shout “Lerooooooy Jenkins” every time you have to sell another brick of Tesla stock. You’re the hippest cat in class, you only get booed when you appear in public because everybody’s jealous of how awesome you are.
I mean, who doesn’t love a really rank hypocrite? Self-Professed “Free Speech Absolutist” Deplatforms Journalists Who Cover Him, you say? Insufferable Twit Whines About Doxxing Days After Former Employee Flees Home From Twit-Sicced Mob? What a walking skidmark you are, Elon. Pay your bills, dickwad.
https://www.independent.co.uk/tech/elon-musk-...46445.html
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure smiting critics on the social media site you paid the full rube markup rate for provides a nice respite from failing in front of the whole fucking world, but it only feeds the loser doom loop you’re trapped in. Pro tip: people won’t stop laughing at you until you stop punching yourself in the groin.
I hope Mark Meadows’ phone winds up in the Smithsonian, y’know? I’m told that if you hold it in your hands, you can almost hear the institutions of democracy rotting. Personally, I think the writers are getting a little heavy-handed with the “Marshall Law” stuff and the NFTs and the vaccine quackery; like, ok you guys, they’re idiots, WE GET IT.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2022/12/...committee/
The Marshall Law guy is South Carolina Congressdolt Ralph Norman, who is also in the news this week as one of the five intractable turds floating in Kevin McCarthy’s breakfast cereal, (he’s only got a four-vote margin to work with, y’see) which is degoddamnlightful, if you ask me. Live by the insurrectionist weirdo, die by the insurrectionist weirdo, motherfucker.
I guess Brett Kavanaugh attended the creepiest of all possible Xmas parties, but don’t worry, he responsibly brought along his designated apologist, Susan Collins, to excuse/enable any drunken assaults that may have occurred.
Poor Kari Lake. Bet everything on the Big Lie just before the market crashed. Thought she was gonna be Vice President, now she’s just trying to elbow out a halfway decent spot for a t-shirt table on the convention circuit, something close to Diamond and Silk, you don’t want to wind up in the corner with Laura Loomer, believe me.
https://people.com/politics/kari-lake-interes...urce-says/
Oh, if anybody needs Roger Stone, (to pad out your Russian military propaganda, for example) he’s over in the corner, hallucinating about “demonic portals.” Just a heads up.
https://sports.yahoo.com/trump-confidant-roge...23063.html
I trust you’re still enjoying the steady grind of the gears of justice in the background. The Consequences Fairy was extra busy this week, visiting Capitol rioters and Whitmer kidnap plotters and even Rudy Giuliani, and there’s still the January 6th committee’s criminal referral vote to look forward to yet.
Well, that’s about all I can take for one week. Two weeks, actually, NO BLOG NEXT WEEK, as I’ll be traveling for the holidays. You stay safe out there, and please do your damndest to squeeze a little cheer out of these demented times.
Friday, December 16th, 2022
by Shower Cap | American Madness Journal | 0 comments
https://showercapblog.com/who-put-the-fun-in-...le-tokens/
It’s been said there’s a sucker born every minute, though scientists currently estimate that number may be as high as 4.39. The question is, after three years of guzzling horse dewormer, how many are still alive to buy NFTs?
Donald Trump is like some Dickensian avatar of chiseling for chiseling’s sake. And we made him President of the United States, where one of his big accomplishments was wringing piss money out of the Secret Service. I’ve said this before, but I guarantee you the pockets of every ill-fitting suit in the guy’s closet are stuffed with tiny fistfuls of restaurant mints.
But Jesus Christ, what do you even say about a con petty enough to make Mike Flynn and Steve Bannon feel cheap? Except that it WORKED, that the almost tauntingly shitty “digital trading cards” sold out within 24 hours?
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good polling-induced Dotard tantrum as much as the next fellow, but until Ron DeSantis has a legion of fevered drones he can bleed for millions of dollars whenever the fancy strikes him, they’re not in the same league, at least as far as the GOP’s cultified politics are concerned.
Of course, Ron-Ron managed to identify the one godforsaken patch of the wingnut fever swamp from which someone could potentially out-crazy/outflank Donald Trump with the maniac MAGA base, and guess where he’s decided to set up camp? Gonna win the primary by pandering to anti-vaxxers, what a fun, healthy strategy that is.
Wouldn’t want to interrupt your very serious postmortem of what historians are already calling the Inflation Sucks But Y’All Ain’t Right in the Head midterms, I’m sure Blake Masters’ insight is both thrilling and valuable, but maybe stop trying so hard to be the party of unhinged dipshits?
How are these lessons still so fucking unlearnable? How am I still reading shit like, “Rick Scott says Herschel Walker will continue to be a leader in our party for years to come?” Why would you want that? Why would you buy another ticket for the Herschel Walker ride? What about that experience are you so eager to repeat?
You’ve got Marjorie Taylor Greene stumbling around, shrieking about butt plugs, defiantly spouting the sort of violent rhetoric that led to her censure, and you’re talking about putting her on House Oversight? To be the face of your party during all these televised hearings on Dr. Fauci and Hunter Biden’s pee-pee and furry kids using litter boxes in school?
https://www.advocate.com/news/2022/12/15/marj...and-dildos
How do y’all imagine that’s gonna work out for you? I think you’re overestimating the number of persuadable voters who spend their free time pacing the aisles of toy stores, muttering furiously about diversity trends in the American Girl doll line. Most of us don’t have the luxury of caring about such stupid, stupid shit.
But in conservative politics, the loudest asshole is King. Speaking of which…
The hardest part of writing about Elon Musk is the constant need to find fresh synonyms for “pathetic.” The man is on a cringe bender, hemorrhaging credibility and billions of dollars as he stomps his way down the well-worn path trod by every mewling MAGA mediocrity that just. won’t. shut. the. fuck. up.
There’s nothing in the world more tedious than a freshly blackpilled dude. That desperation to paper over personal failings with conspiracy theories and victimhood…nobody wants to go to that party, Elon. Nobody that doesn’t suck, anyway. “Groomer rhetoric and replacement-level shitposting, BYOB.” Ah jeez, as amusing as it’s been, watching you wiggle your ass for likes from the Q crowd, I’ve, uh, got a thing that night.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/y3pjkw/elon-m...ting-qanon
But congratulations on discovering pronoun jokes, kid. You’re right on the cutting edge. I bet you shout “Lerooooooy Jenkins” every time you have to sell another brick of Tesla stock. You’re the hippest cat in class, you only get booed when you appear in public because everybody’s jealous of how awesome you are.
I mean, who doesn’t love a really rank hypocrite? Self-Professed “Free Speech Absolutist” Deplatforms Journalists Who Cover Him, you say? Insufferable Twit Whines About Doxxing Days After Former Employee Flees Home From Twit-Sicced Mob? What a walking skidmark you are, Elon. Pay your bills, dickwad.
https://www.independent.co.uk/tech/elon-musk-...46445.html
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure smiting critics on the social media site you paid the full rube markup rate for provides a nice respite from failing in front of the whole fucking world, but it only feeds the loser doom loop you’re trapped in. Pro tip: people won’t stop laughing at you until you stop punching yourself in the groin.
I hope Mark Meadows’ phone winds up in the Smithsonian, y’know? I’m told that if you hold it in your hands, you can almost hear the institutions of democracy rotting. Personally, I think the writers are getting a little heavy-handed with the “Marshall Law” stuff and the NFTs and the vaccine quackery; like, ok you guys, they’re idiots, WE GET IT.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2022/12/...committee/
The Marshall Law guy is South Carolina Congressdolt Ralph Norman, who is also in the news this week as one of the five intractable turds floating in Kevin McCarthy’s breakfast cereal, (he’s only got a four-vote margin to work with, y’see) which is degoddamnlightful, if you ask me. Live by the insurrectionist weirdo, die by the insurrectionist weirdo, motherfucker.
I guess Brett Kavanaugh attended the creepiest of all possible Xmas parties, but don’t worry, he responsibly brought along his designated apologist, Susan Collins, to excuse/enable any drunken assaults that may have occurred.
Poor Kari Lake. Bet everything on the Big Lie just before the market crashed. Thought she was gonna be Vice President, now she’s just trying to elbow out a halfway decent spot for a t-shirt table on the convention circuit, something close to Diamond and Silk, you don’t want to wind up in the corner with Laura Loomer, believe me.
https://people.com/politics/kari-lake-interes...urce-says/
Oh, if anybody needs Roger Stone, (to pad out your Russian military propaganda, for example) he’s over in the corner, hallucinating about “demonic portals.” Just a heads up.
https://sports.yahoo.com/trump-confidant-roge...23063.html
I trust you’re still enjoying the steady grind of the gears of justice in the background. The Consequences Fairy was extra busy this week, visiting Capitol rioters and Whitmer kidnap plotters and even Rudy Giuliani, and there’s still the January 6th committee’s criminal referral vote to look forward to yet.
Well, that’s about all I can take for one week. Two weeks, actually, NO BLOG NEXT WEEK, as I’ll be traveling for the holidays. You stay safe out there, and please do your damndest to squeeze a little cheer out of these demented times.
