What are the odds of a chronic gambler calling the
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Posted On: 10/15/2022 8:15:43 PM
What are the odds of a chronic gambler calling the addiction helpline?
No, really, I have $100 riding on this.
After receiving acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone.
This proves that the pin really is mightier than the sore.
Why can't two... ...Asians make a white kid?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
Upon inspecting the hunter's credentials,
the game warden said, "This is last year's license."
"I know," said the hunter. "I'm only shooting at the deer I missed last year."
A hunter goes into a butcher's store and asks for a duck. The butcher says, "We're all out of duck. I've got plenty of chicken, though. How about a chicken?"
"Oh, that's just fine," complains the hunter. "How am I gonna tell my wife that I shot a chicken?"
I used to go out with a girl who punched...
...me in the face when she orgasmed.
I didn't mind too much until I found out she was faking them.
Wife: "You have selective hearing."
Me: "I know............................you weren't selected."
Why do plants use photosynthesis?
So they can have a light snack.
Son: "I'm going back to school to major in the study of plants."
Dad: "Botany?"
Son: "Not yet, but when I get my degree I'll be able to afford lots of them."
My wife has filled our house with all types of
potted plants that she's picked up at yard sales and giveaways.
She's become a hoarder- culturist.
I got really angry with my car navigation/GPS today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.
No, really, I have $100 riding on this.
After receiving acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone.
This proves that the pin really is mightier than the sore.
Why can't two... ...Asians make a white kid?
Because two Wongs don't make a white.
Upon inspecting the hunter's credentials,
the game warden said, "This is last year's license."
"I know," said the hunter. "I'm only shooting at the deer I missed last year."
A hunter goes into a butcher's store and asks for a duck. The butcher says, "We're all out of duck. I've got plenty of chicken, though. How about a chicken?"
"Oh, that's just fine," complains the hunter. "How am I gonna tell my wife that I shot a chicken?"
I used to go out with a girl who punched...
...me in the face when she orgasmed.
I didn't mind too much until I found out she was faking them.
Wife: "You have selective hearing."
Me: "I know............................you weren't selected."
Why do plants use photosynthesis?
So they can have a light snack.
Son: "I'm going back to school to major in the study of plants."
Dad: "Botany?"
Son: "Not yet, but when I get my degree I'll be able to afford lots of them."
My wife has filled our house with all types of
potted plants that she's picked up at yard sales and giveaways.
She's become a hoarder- culturist.
I got really angry with my car navigation/GPS today. I even yelled at it and told it to "go to hell."
Twenty minutes later, it brought me in front of my mother-in-law’s house.
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