When a new child visited our Sunday school, the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers.
"Oh, you're four," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?"
The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, "When I hold up the other finger."
A blonde and a brunette are walking along, when suddenly the brunette says, "Look, a dead bird" The blonde looks up and says "Where?"
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A labracadabrador
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
9 out of 10 dentists say that brushing alone won’t reduce cavities…
so now I’m Looking for someone to brush my teeth with.
When they made me they broke the mold,
and then they beat the shit out of the mold maker.
A man is working his way through undertaker School by painting floors. After years of hard work and hard study, he finally painted himself into a coroner..
I've cut down on my drinking. Now I only have
one shot before going to bed. Last night, I went to bed 8 times.
There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up!
An engineer comes riding up to his engineer friend on a bicycle. The friend asks, "where did you get the bicycle?" To which the 1st engineer replies, "I was walking here and a woman rides up jumps off her bike, rips off her clothes and throws them on the ground and says, take what you want." The second engineer says, "good thinking, the clothes probably wouldn't fit you."
I'm almost out of booze and it's making me sad
Guess you could say my spirits are low.
I got fired from my job at the suicide hotline.
Apparently they aren’t familiar with the reverse psychology approach.
"Oh, you're four," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?"
The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, "When I hold up the other finger."
A blonde and a brunette are walking along, when suddenly the brunette says, "Look, a dead bird" The blonde looks up and says "Where?"
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A labracadabrador
The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
9 out of 10 dentists say that brushing alone won’t reduce cavities…
so now I’m Looking for someone to brush my teeth with.
When they made me they broke the mold,
and then they beat the shit out of the mold maker.
A man is working his way through undertaker School by painting floors. After years of hard work and hard study, he finally painted himself into a coroner..
I've cut down on my drinking. Now I only have
one shot before going to bed. Last night, I went to bed 8 times.
There's no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up!
An engineer comes riding up to his engineer friend on a bicycle. The friend asks, "where did you get the bicycle?" To which the 1st engineer replies, "I was walking here and a woman rides up jumps off her bike, rips off her clothes and throws them on the ground and says, take what you want." The second engineer says, "good thinking, the clothes probably wouldn't fit you."
I'm almost out of booze and it's making me sad
Guess you could say my spirits are low.
I got fired from my job at the suicide hotline.
Apparently they aren’t familiar with the reverse psychology approach.
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