The other night my wife and I were getting frisky
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frisky, she bit her lip and whispered in my ear, “I’ve been naughty and need to be punished!”
So I installed Windows 8 on her laptop.
Intelligence Test
1) Say "Eye"
2) Spell "MAP"
30 Say "Ness
I didn't mean to push ALL your buttons..........
.................I was just looking for mute.
Today I'm doing nothing, because I started it
yesterday and I wasn't finished......................and I'm no quitter.
I'm not crazy.......................
................my reality is just different than yours.
A man is standing at a grave, staring at the head stone. A second man walks up and asks, "Is this someone you knew?" The first guy says, "Yes, it was my wife." The second guy says, "It must be hard to lose a wife." The first guys replies, "Yep, damn near impossible."
A day without beer is like.....................
.........................hell, I have no idea.
Two dogs are sitting in a bar. The first says, “Wanna hear a joke?”
The second dog says, “Sure!”
The first dog says, “Knock knock.”
The second says, WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!
Before going in for surgery I thought it would be funny if I posted a note on myself telling the surgeon to be careful. After the surgery I found another note on myself .”Anyone know where my cell phone is????????”