I called my wife... ...from my friend's phone. Sh
Post# of 123732
...from my friend's phone. She answered, "Hey, my love."
She just knew it was me. I love her so much.
Shoutout to... ...the person who invented the word plethora.
It really means a lot.
My father once told me that I would go blind if I masturbated too much.
So I said I would just do it until I needed glasses.
My doctor told me to stay away from trans fats.
Now I'm pissed. It's none of his business who I date.
"No Scotty, I said beam me a broad, not aboard."
"OK, I pulled the pin.............now what?"
Nothing succeeds like a bird with no teeth.
Biden has a heart attack, and is rushed to the hospital. He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses. "Am I in heaven?" asks Joe
"No" says one of the nurses. "We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward".