This morning we all woke up and realized we are

This morning we all woke up and realized we are dead.  At midnight we starved to death, the plugs on our ventilators were turned out, airplanes fell from the sky, the TSA stopped administering prostate exams, and the only good thing is children were born because Planned Parenthood had no money to abort them.

That's right, today is Sequestration Day and we're all dead, dying, out of federal money, or in burning houses without firefighters, teachers, and policemen to rescue us.  The President said so.  We have to believe him.  Women and cowboy poetry hardest hit.

In all seriousness, for over a week the man has been campaigning with such hyperbole I've been expecting any day he'd claim sequestration would mean we all get E.D. (including the women) and the Mayan calender was only off by a couple of months.  The hystrionics have been ridiculous.

Today the sun came up, you and I are alive and well, and the government, sadly, is still open for business.  Today, some Americans will get paychecks and taxes will still have been taken out and sent to the IRS.  We need to keep pointing that out.  Oh, and Republicans are, today, working on a deal to ensure Obamacare gets fully funded.