Dogs prepare you for babies... Cats prepare you f
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Posted On: 02/27/2022 1:48:50 PM
Dogs prepare you for babies...
Cats prepare you for teenagers.
Cracker Jacks™ being renamed to
Honky Jacks™
Harassment...
Teacher: Use the words harassment to make a sentence. Little Johnny:
I dated this girl and her-ass-meant a lot to me.
Teacher: Get out!
I quit drinking yesterday
but tonight I make a comeback.
Home.
Where the HO and ME come together.
News sign-off in leper colony:
It's eleven o'clock...............do you know where your extremities are?
You're in heaven and God sneezes.
What do you say?
My neighbor is conceited.
He's seven feet tall and plays the flute. ( thinks he's high-flutin' )
Little Johnny decided to burn down his house.
His parents were so proud: "That's arson" they said with tears in their eyes.
What the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What brand of computer sings?
A Dell.
I pulled up to a stop light next to a
Lamborghini and decided to brag about my Prius. I told the guy "I get 48 miles per gallon. What do you get?" He looked over and said "Laid"
Neil Young threatens to leave Spotify again
Unless Putin leaves Ukraine.
What do you call a bedpan in Russia?
A Poo-tin.
The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
That’s the 10th passenger today who’s called me a terrible bus driver.
I don’t know where these people get off.
I had a lot of time while in jail...............
...................so I wrote my alibiography.
Cats prepare you for teenagers.
Cracker Jacks™ being renamed to
Honky Jacks™
Harassment...
Teacher: Use the words harassment to make a sentence. Little Johnny:
I dated this girl and her-ass-meant a lot to me.
Teacher: Get out!
I quit drinking yesterday
but tonight I make a comeback.
Home.
Where the HO and ME come together.
News sign-off in leper colony:
It's eleven o'clock...............do you know where your extremities are?
You're in heaven and God sneezes.
What do you say?
My neighbor is conceited.
He's seven feet tall and plays the flute. ( thinks he's high-flutin' )
Little Johnny decided to burn down his house.
His parents were so proud: "That's arson" they said with tears in their eyes.
What the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
What brand of computer sings?
A Dell.
I pulled up to a stop light next to a
Lamborghini and decided to brag about my Prius. I told the guy "I get 48 miles per gallon. What do you get?" He looked over and said "Laid"
Neil Young threatens to leave Spotify again
Unless Putin leaves Ukraine.
What do you call a bedpan in Russia?
A Poo-tin.
The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"
He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
That’s the 10th passenger today who’s called me a terrible bus driver.
I don’t know where these people get off.
I had a lot of time while in jail...............
...................so I wrote my alibiography.
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