My grandpa always used to say “as one door clos
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Posted On: 01/15/2022 2:20:26 PM
My grandpa always used to say
“as one door closes, another opens”.
A lovely man. A terrible cabinet maker.
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence...
In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50.
In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $6.35.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
My wife crashed the car again today
She told the police the man she hit with was on his phone and drinking a beer.
The police said the man can do whatever he wants in his own living room...
The first rule of Passive Aggressive Club is…
…you know what? Never mind. It’s FINE.
Today I got gas for only $1.29
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
How does every racist joke start?
With a look over ones shoulder...
I still remember when my mom used to tuck me in as a kid.
Man, she really wanted a daughter...
What do you call a fat psychic?
A 4 chin teller.
I know a girl who was born with her breasts on her back. She's not much to look at, but the guys all want to slow dance with her.
You might be a redneck if.......................
- Anyone in your family wrestles alligators.
- The wiring in your trailer breaks all fire codes.
- During your wedding, when you kissed the bride, your John Deere cap fell off.
- Hitchhikers won't get in the truck with you.
- When you go to the dump, you return with more stuff than you left with.
- Your idea of foreplay is nudging her and asking. "Are you awake?"
What do you do when you're addicted to seaweed?
Seek Kelp.
Did you hear about the town that legalized
pot and banned alcohol ? They left their
residents high and dry !
My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer.
Wait.
Never mind. That wasn’t my waiter...
What do blondes say after sex?
Are you guys all in the same band?
What do blondes consider foreplay?
Removing their panties.
Why do blondes have trouble achieving orgasm?
Who cares?
“as one door closes, another opens”.
A lovely man. A terrible cabinet maker.
Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar
You can’t tell me that’s just a coincidence...
In Jamaica, a slice of pie costs $3.50.
In the Bahamas, a slice of pie costs $6.35.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
My wife crashed the car again today
She told the police the man she hit with was on his phone and drinking a beer.
The police said the man can do whatever he wants in his own living room...
The first rule of Passive Aggressive Club is…
…you know what? Never mind. It’s FINE.
Today I got gas for only $1.29
Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.
How does every racist joke start?
With a look over ones shoulder...
I still remember when my mom used to tuck me in as a kid.
Man, she really wanted a daughter...
What do you call a fat psychic?
A 4 chin teller.
I know a girl who was born with her breasts on her back. She's not much to look at, but the guys all want to slow dance with her.
You might be a redneck if.......................
- Anyone in your family wrestles alligators.
- The wiring in your trailer breaks all fire codes.
- During your wedding, when you kissed the bride, your John Deere cap fell off.
- Hitchhikers won't get in the truck with you.
- When you go to the dump, you return with more stuff than you left with.
- Your idea of foreplay is nudging her and asking. "Are you awake?"
What do you do when you're addicted to seaweed?
Seek Kelp.
Did you hear about the town that legalized
pot and banned alcohol ? They left their
residents high and dry !
My Chinese waiter thinks all white people look alike and gave my food to the wrong customer.
Wait.
Never mind. That wasn’t my waiter...
What do blondes say after sex?
Are you guys all in the same band?
What do blondes consider foreplay?
Removing their panties.
Why do blondes have trouble achieving orgasm?
Who cares?
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