I started going back through all the posts a second time and plan on replying to a couple with the last posts I have left on my free account. You worded this question very carefully but I think I understand.
I am heavily invested, in the red and willing to admit many things have run through my mind late at night. There has been many posts by Doc and longs that the longs will be rewarded in multiples and no one cares about us "new eyes".
Again this is expressing past feelings and not my current belief.
For a long while, after investing many 10s of thousands of dollars, I had this ongoing feeling that the train ride was just a ride for the longs to sell their shares that they bought in trips to fools like me at .10. All the pumping and claiming the wildest things on almost nothing fed into this worry.
I hope people understand and can relate.