I like the precedent being set by the 13d(bags) in

I like the precedent being set by the 13d(bags) in regards to these press releases.

Apparently anybody can decide they want to be on the board of directors for a company and then start putting out press releases. It would be a great way to get exposure for a new business even if you didn't actually want to, or qualify to, be on the board of directors for a company.

(Reuters) - Respert24, the owner of Two Filets Butchery & Wine Shoppe, as well as potential prospective candidate for a seat some day on the board of directors of Apple Inc (AAPL), has announced today the initiation of a phase 3 active controlled trial utilizing Apple Inc (AAPL) iPhone technology for one tertiary endpoint to produce high resolution imaging of wagyu marbling on his trademarked brand of A5 Japanese Wagyu steaks. Both arms of this study, designed to prove once and for all the there ain't no steak like a Respert24 steak cause a Respert24 steak don't quit, included Respert24 A5 wagyu steak to ensure no trial participant would be subjected to a fake meat control arm. "We aren't monsters", says Jeff's Chris, the grandson of Ruth's, current CEO of Ruth's Chris and trial partner.

Additionally, thanks to the results of a successful phase 2 trial, the optimal dosing of meat in this trial has been increased to 1lb per participant to ensure proper satiety. One bottle of red wine was consumed with each steak for "esophageal lubrication" and an apple (AAPL) was provided with each meal to aid in digestion and keep all doctors away. "I'm very proud of our team here at Two Filets Butchery & Wine Shoppe for their diligence in bringing this important trial to the people. For many years we have been subjected to poor quality meat at a sub-optimal size while dining out or choosing our two filets to grill at home. I look forward to our interim analysis and to our IPO this October." stated Respert24, owner of Two Filets Butchery & Wine Shoppe.