Lately I’ve been doing more lurking and scanning of posts than I've been posting. There are reasons, of course, but I won’t bore you. Except for my invisible internet buddy I made from this board who has heard all about it already. I bored him. Oh shit. I meant him/her. Aww farts, it’s a guy. No pulling that one back, I don’t think.
Lots of arguing going on lately.
It’s almost completely due to the bashing d(bags) and their unrelenting attack on reality. They remind me of extremely energetic puppies with very little training. You say, “Hey there, pupper. Aren’t you a cute little rascal!” And in return they start leaping at your face trying to suck your soul out of your nostrils so they can flop around on it like a pile of laundry that smells like their master. It’s a massive and uncalled for escalation of the current vibe. I mean, read the room for crying out loud.
(Full disclosure: I wanted to write “christsakes” but it didn’t seem right and I’m not religious so I honestly have no clue if the C should be capitalized or if the two words should be separated or if I’ll see you in hell)
((You know what you did))
But it got me thinking about all of us here and how we interact with each other. Do we really know anything about one another? I’d wager that each of us has a few people we’ve connected with in private messages that we align with and trust, a strong handful of other posters that we generally agree with and probably trust, and then a whole slate of people we wish the ‘Rona on.
I know that’s how I roll and if you aren’t following suit I’d like to share a famous quote about poker from the movie Rounders that I think is fitting:
“If you can't spot the sucker in your first half-hour at the table, then you are the sucker.”
I know it as “fish” instead of “sucker”, but that’s because I’ve been knee deep in poker way before you were off the titty.
As poker players are wont to do, getting a good read on the rest of the players at the table is a must. So tonight I present to you a down and dirty, cerebral, 10-20 Omaha Hi-Lo kind of assessment of some of our board members.
Here's what I see.
Ohm20
Likely male. Mid 40’s. Born with 8% more brain matter than normal, not unlike Secretariat and his larger than normal heart. Sick of your shit since ’86. One of the last remaining humans to enjoy the candy “Goobers”. Likes to eat standing up.
CDiddy
Likely male. Mid 50’s. Nicknamed “Job” by his high school classmates due to his abundance of patience. Thinks yellow Starburst are undervalued. Plays harmonica.
JLang
Likely male. Early to Mid 30’s. Lost all of his fucks a long time ago. Recently noticed that foil has two different sides. Favorite tv show scene is from Southpark when Cartmen makes the older kid eat his parents and then tastes his tears. Aquarius.
Evil Rabbit
Likely male. Late 40’s. Literal rabbit. Overcomes lack of opposable thumbs by typing with all four paws.
KenChowder
Likely soup. Early 60’s. #ThisOneWasEasy
TonyCorvette/JoeSax
Same person. Likely male. Late 90’s. Doesn’t understand call waiting. Owns bootstraps. Smart phone is set to “large icon” mode. Ukrainian billionaire.
5%
Definitely male. Late 20’s. Male. Calls everyone “bro”. Male.
ClosetInvestor
Likely bologna. Late 30’s. Parks diagonally across two spots so nobody dents his Omni. Tries to board the plane before his group has been called. Favorite cake is carrot cake. Appears out of nowhere if you say “truck nuts” three times.
Harpitdown
Likely female. Early 30’s. Doesn’t understand how harps work.
MDVirologist
Definitely male. Late 40’s. Only speaks to Bruce while in public via his Nextel on full volume. Orders pineapple on his pizza. Bought land from Erik Estrada. Wears leather A LOT despite pleas from his family.
CTMedic
Likely female. Mid 40’s. Actual medic. Fictional CT.
Rodolfo
Likely male. Early 30’s. Foreign. To common sense.
Shelley2626
Likely female. Early 40’s. Valiant protector of both Leronlimab’s potential and Reinheitsgebot, Germany’s beer purity law.
Sean007
Likely Male. Early 50’s. Definitely a Swede. Slices the shit out of the golf ball and never aims for it. Left handed, of course.
I missed a lot of you but the night isn't young anymore. Please feel free to add your assessments.
Respert24
Lots of arguing going on lately.
It’s almost completely due to the bashing d(bags) and their unrelenting attack on reality. They remind me of extremely energetic puppies with very little training. You say, “Hey there, pupper. Aren’t you a cute little rascal!” And in return they start leaping at your face trying to suck your soul out of your nostrils so they can flop around on it like a pile of laundry that smells like their master. It’s a massive and uncalled for escalation of the current vibe. I mean, read the room for crying out loud.
(Full disclosure: I wanted to write “christsakes” but it didn’t seem right and I’m not religious so I honestly have no clue if the C should be capitalized or if the two words should be separated or if I’ll see you in hell)
((You know what you did))
But it got me thinking about all of us here and how we interact with each other. Do we really know anything about one another? I’d wager that each of us has a few people we’ve connected with in private messages that we align with and trust, a strong handful of other posters that we generally agree with and probably trust, and then a whole slate of people we wish the ‘Rona on.
I know that’s how I roll and if you aren’t following suit I’d like to share a famous quote about poker from the movie Rounders that I think is fitting:
“If you can't spot the sucker in your first half-hour at the table, then you are the sucker.”
I know it as “fish” instead of “sucker”, but that’s because I’ve been knee deep in poker way before you were off the titty.
As poker players are wont to do, getting a good read on the rest of the players at the table is a must. So tonight I present to you a down and dirty, cerebral, 10-20 Omaha Hi-Lo kind of assessment of some of our board members.
Here's what I see.
Ohm20
Likely male. Mid 40’s. Born with 8% more brain matter than normal, not unlike Secretariat and his larger than normal heart. Sick of your shit since ’86. One of the last remaining humans to enjoy the candy “Goobers”. Likes to eat standing up.
CDiddy
Likely male. Mid 50’s. Nicknamed “Job” by his high school classmates due to his abundance of patience. Thinks yellow Starburst are undervalued. Plays harmonica.
JLang
Likely male. Early to Mid 30’s. Lost all of his fucks a long time ago. Recently noticed that foil has two different sides. Favorite tv show scene is from Southpark when Cartmen makes the older kid eat his parents and then tastes his tears. Aquarius.
Evil Rabbit
Likely male. Late 40’s. Literal rabbit. Overcomes lack of opposable thumbs by typing with all four paws.
KenChowder
Likely soup. Early 60’s. #ThisOneWasEasy
TonyCorvette/JoeSax
Same person. Likely male. Late 90’s. Doesn’t understand call waiting. Owns bootstraps. Smart phone is set to “large icon” mode. Ukrainian billionaire.
5%
Definitely male. Late 20’s. Male. Calls everyone “bro”. Male.
ClosetInvestor
Likely bologna. Late 30’s. Parks diagonally across two spots so nobody dents his Omni. Tries to board the plane before his group has been called. Favorite cake is carrot cake. Appears out of nowhere if you say “truck nuts” three times.
Harpitdown
Likely female. Early 30’s. Doesn’t understand how harps work.
MDVirologist
Definitely male. Late 40’s. Only speaks to Bruce while in public via his Nextel on full volume. Orders pineapple on his pizza. Bought land from Erik Estrada. Wears leather A LOT despite pleas from his family.
CTMedic
Likely female. Mid 40’s. Actual medic. Fictional CT.
Rodolfo
Likely male. Early 30’s. Foreign. To common sense.
Shelley2626
Likely female. Early 40’s. Valiant protector of both Leronlimab’s potential and Reinheitsgebot, Germany’s beer purity law.
Sean007
Likely Male. Early 50’s. Definitely a Swede. Slices the shit out of the golf ball and never aims for it. Left handed, of course.
I missed a lot of you but the night isn't young anymore. Please feel free to add your assessments.
Respert24
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