What do you call a protein that has anger managem

What do you call a protein that has anger
management issues? Ameano acid.

Found a spider in my protein powder today.
I politely asked him to get out of my whey.

What's the best part of having a vegan wife?
Nuts are her favorite source of protein.

My wife said we should experiment more in the bedroom...............
so last night we synthesized a new protein chain.

Had a falling out with the wife over protein
powder. We decided to go our separate wheys.
( I know what you're thinking..............that's whey too many protein jokes )

When two women marry each other, how do they decide
which one doesn’t want to have sex any more?

My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.

Caveman discovers weed.
Caveman discovers fire.
Stone age begins.

I told my therapist that I am having suicidal thoughts.
He now makes me pay in advance.

When Donald Trump was asked what the J stood for in Donald J Trump..
He said “Genius”.

_Dad, I’ve got a part in the school play_
I play a man who’s been married for 25 years.
Dad: I’m sorry son, maybe next time you will get a speaking part.

I still remember when my mom used to tuck me in as a kid.
Man she really wanted a daughter...

My roommate claims that I’m schizophrenic.
Jokes on him though, I don’t have a roommate.

I’ve done some terrible things for money.
Like getting up early to go to work.

h/t
SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib