I came from a large family.... It was my mother's

I came from a large family....
It was my mother's fault: she was deaf.
When Mom and Dad would go to bed Dad would say "Do you want to go to sleep or what?"
And Mom would reply "What...?"

Scientists have observed that when one pizza delivery guy falls over, several others also fall over. This is known as the Domino's effect.

On average, an American man under 75 will have sex two to three times a week, whereas a Japanese man the same age will have sex only one or two times a year.
This is very upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese!

I suffered a broken collar bone, concussion and
some bruising when I fell asleep at the wheel. I was also told not to come back to pottery class.

I suffer from heart disease that only affects liars..................................IFib.

I was drinking at a local bar last night when a waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?”
I shouted, “Hell, I know the whole alphabet.”
Everyone laughed… Well everyone except this one guy.