In a freak accident today, a photographer was kil
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killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair though, the people who were being photographed
did try to warn him.
When my dad died it was left to me to manage his affairs.
How he kept all those women a secret from my mom, I’ll never know.
My professor told me that I’m failing my ethics class.
So I slid 20 dollars across the table and said, “What about now…?”
I went to a deli and said, “I’d like to buy a
bagel with cream cheese.”
The kid behind the counter said, “Sorry, we only
take cash or credit cards.”
I said to my therapist, “I’m getting a gun
because of my fear of birds.”
She replied, “I think you might be getting carried away.”
I shouted, “Not without a fight, I’m not!”
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