Joe Biden’s Late-Term Abortion of Bipartisanship

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Joe Biden’s Late-Term Abortion of Bipartisanship, & Other Tales of Terror

Friday, March 12th, 2021

by Shower Cap | American Madness Journal | 3 comments

showercapblog.com/joe-bidens-late-term-abortion-of-bipartisanship-other-tales-of-terror/

After a brutal quarantine winter, I’m sure you’ll agree this week’s thaw has been most welcome. Actually, I found something really weird out on the back porch, once all the ice and snow had melted away. I almost didn’t recognize it at first, but I think it’s…whaddya call it…I wanna say, “hope?” Is that a real word? Feels kinda familiar.

Longtime readers are used to finding bad news in this space, here at the top of the ol’ Shower Cap Blog post, but we’re not doin’ that tonight, because YOUR Democratic Party, the team you fought so long and so hard to install, did a good, good thing. Passed a little stimulus bill, you may’ve heard about it.

One point nine trillion dollars’ worth of much-needed relief for our weary nation. $1400 direct payments, already arriving in some bank accounts, snug as a bug in a rug. Obamacare subsidies. Childhood poverty cut in half. A bonafide goody bag for anyone who cares about alleviating human suffering. Naturally, Republicans are furious.

Every congressional Republican, in both houses, opposed the bill, out of a firm ideological commitment to the belief that the millions of Americans who suffered for months under their party’s murderous mismanagement of the pandemic should go fuck themselves with curling irons, eat their weight in buffalo shit, and compose a Shakespearian sonnet thanking Mitch McConnell personally for the privilege. And yet somehow these clods are baffled they’re losing the messaging war.

The bill is so popular, Republicans don’t know whether to shit or go blind. They tried everything in their dirtbag plutocrat playbook. They offered to gut the bill in exchange for votes they’d never actually deliver, that old chestnut.

They whinged disingenuously about the deficit. Shit, they even tried rubbing sheep’s blood all over their naked bodies and shrieking about a potato-shaped toy for a week and a half, but alas, it turns out the American people prefer not suffering to suffering, the filthy takers.

it’s “the institutional Republican Party, partially out of fealty to shitty economic ideas that have failed more than the Cleveland Browns fused with the Washington Generals like in The Fly and definitely the Cronenberg version by the way; and partially just cuz they’re a death cult now, has decided that after careful consideration, they would honestly prefer not to help the American people during this time of multiple crises, several of which they created with their very own blood-stained hands.”

Democrats wanted to help people, Republicans adamantly refused; what compromise was even possible? “Ok, shave a trillion five off the total plus Tom Cotton gets to strangle a puppy on the Senate floor, and Lisa Murkowski will give you one vote you don’t need?” Just because your party got taken over by a pathological sucker doesn’t mean we’re obliged to pretend we’re idiots.

Anyhow, the GOP got so mad the stupid new government acts like poor people’s lives matter that they stomped back to their state-level parties and got straight to work taking away their constituents’ right to vote.

Obviously, the problem here is that citizens were allowed to fire Republicans JUST BECAUSE they lost control of the coronavirus, killed hundreds of thousands of us, crashed the economy, and stood idly by while a game show host on an Adderall bender attempted to install himself as dictator for life.

In fairness, I can see where folks that’re that catastrophically awful at governing would want to remove accountability from the equation, when it comes to the acquisition of power.

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