Claiming massive touchdown fraud, Navy vows to fight game results to Supreme Court
"They needed to stop counting the points, but they didn’t."
https://www.duffelblog.com/p/claiming-massive...oKSKXftXtk
By Bull Winkle
ANNAPOLIS, Md. — After losing the annual Army-Navy football game, a coach for the Naval Academy’s midshipmen is ditching 130 years of tradition and refusing to concede the win to the Army team, sources confirmed today.
“We all know that Army only won this game by stealing it,” said Navy Assistant Coach Dirk Bagodix. “They needed to stop counting the points, but they didn’t.”
West Point hosted the 2020 Army-Navy game with attendance limited to cadets, midshipmen, and government dignitaries due to COVID-19 restrictions. Some observers thought it was the most interesting event in West Point history, at least since Benedict Arnold commanded the post in 1780.
“It is statistically impossible for Navy to rush for 52 yards in the second half and still lose,” said the coach. Bagodix called the Army team “super-duper meany cheaters” for “mysteriously” scoring most of its points in the game’s final quarter.
“How does that even happen?” he asked .
Bagodix listed other anomalies that he says show touchdown fraud, including an ethereal mist that shrouded the venue and the banning of neutral observer fans from the stadium. He also claims a truckload of Army running backs unloaded in the Navy end zone but presented no evidence to support the claim.
“People were literally kept a football field away in a fog and couldn’t verify any touchdowns,” said Bagodix.
“Millions of viewers saw our cadets score the points, then both teams sang their dirge-like alma mater songs and shook hands,” Army Assistant Coach Laura Hudson-Highlands said. “Pretty simple process.”
“Did Bagodix play football without a helmet as a kid or something?”
For assistance, Bagodix has hired Rudi Hairglobiani, a famed New York attorney recently readmitted to the bar after rebutting charges of practicing law while being dead.
“West Point sends several graduates to the 305th Military Intelligence Brigade,” he said, referring to the Army unit named in a disputed claim of presidential election fraud. “Coincidence, or just the usual flawed Army branch assignments process?”
Hairglobiani also promised to produce a “military intelligence expert” with fraud evidence. The witness was later revealed to be a midshipman who once registered for an emotional intelligence course, before dropping it when the girl he was trying to impress transferred to Alabama.
The attorney plans to challenge Army on The People’s Court when the 2021 season taping begins .
“We could start in civil court, but I really like seeing myself on TV,” Hairglobiani said.
"They needed to stop counting the points, but they didn’t."
https://www.duffelblog.com/p/claiming-massive...oKSKXftXtk
By Bull Winkle
ANNAPOLIS, Md. — After losing the annual Army-Navy football game, a coach for the Naval Academy’s midshipmen is ditching 130 years of tradition and refusing to concede the win to the Army team, sources confirmed today.
“We all know that Army only won this game by stealing it,” said Navy Assistant Coach Dirk Bagodix. “They needed to stop counting the points, but they didn’t.”
West Point hosted the 2020 Army-Navy game with attendance limited to cadets, midshipmen, and government dignitaries due to COVID-19 restrictions. Some observers thought it was the most interesting event in West Point history, at least since Benedict Arnold commanded the post in 1780.
“It is statistically impossible for Navy to rush for 52 yards in the second half and still lose,” said the coach. Bagodix called the Army team “super-duper meany cheaters” for “mysteriously” scoring most of its points in the game’s final quarter.
“How does that even happen?” he asked .
Bagodix listed other anomalies that he says show touchdown fraud, including an ethereal mist that shrouded the venue and the banning of neutral observer fans from the stadium. He also claims a truckload of Army running backs unloaded in the Navy end zone but presented no evidence to support the claim.
“People were literally kept a football field away in a fog and couldn’t verify any touchdowns,” said Bagodix.
“Millions of viewers saw our cadets score the points, then both teams sang their dirge-like alma mater songs and shook hands,” Army Assistant Coach Laura Hudson-Highlands said. “Pretty simple process.”
“Did Bagodix play football without a helmet as a kid or something?”
For assistance, Bagodix has hired Rudi Hairglobiani, a famed New York attorney recently readmitted to the bar after rebutting charges of practicing law while being dead.
“West Point sends several graduates to the 305th Military Intelligence Brigade,” he said, referring to the Army unit named in a disputed claim of presidential election fraud. “Coincidence, or just the usual flawed Army branch assignments process?”
Hairglobiani also promised to produce a “military intelligence expert” with fraud evidence. The witness was later revealed to be a midshipman who once registered for an emotional intelligence course, before dropping it when the girl he was trying to impress transferred to Alabama.
The attorney plans to challenge Army on The People’s Court when the 2021 season taping begins .
“We could start in civil court, but I really like seeing myself on TV,” Hairglobiani said.
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