Each profile a gem written in the Cap's inimitable

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Shower Cap’s Fascist-Flushing 2020 Action Guide: HOUSE Edition

showercapblog.com/fascist-flushing-2020-guide-house/#ny-22

Donnie Dotard retweeted one of Rich McCormick’s wingnut rants about the coronavirus, making him an instant Cult45 celebrity, so now he gets to be a congressional candidate, how fun. That this drooling quack been so dangerously wrong about the pandemic, over and over again (Hydroxychloroquine? Really?) makes me think maybe he’s not the leader we need right now. Rich is one of these new post-reality, post-sanity Republican leeches trying to latch a ride to power on Trump’s ass, and he absolutely must be fucking stopped.

Claudia Tenney SUCKS, y’all.

A dutiful little Trumper, she gained national fame by insisting mass shooters tend to be Democrats, a claim she pulled directly out of her ass. (Claudia is, naturally, an NRA puppet) She’s one of those loons who blames everything on the DEEP STATE, including, I shit you not, Ben Carson’s $31,000 dining set. While in office, she also claimed the bullshit GOP tax bill “already paid for” itself, in a genuinely Trumpian display of dumbass mendacity. We got this one right last time; please keep this maniac out of Congress

Victoria Spartz was probably the shittiest candidate in a crowded primary to succeed retiring Susan Brooks, and her shittiness puts the seat in play, huzzah! Victoria is hoping that screaming Socialism Socialism Socialism will distract Indiana voters from her shady self-dealing and lunatic wingnut platform. The good news is, this Club for Growth stooge can’t seem to raise money, and this is one of those suburban districts we’ve been picking off, so I like our chances here.

Karen Handel is so shitty, she’s managed to be shitty at CHARITY. While serving as a Vice President at Susan G. Komen for the Cure, Karen tried to cut off funding to Planned Parenthood, and when that blew up in her face, she threw a fit and quit. As Georgia Secretary of State, Handel was a ferocious vote suppressor. Anti-health care, anti-minimum wage, anti-immigrant, anti-LGBTQ…Karen Handel fucking sucks, y’all. We beat her in the midterms, but it looks like this one needs one more flush.

Steve Chabot is exactly the sort of corrupt, out-of-touch suburban Republican that’s rapidly going extinct, running hard on his failed, dated platform, his anti-choice record, and his anti-health-care-in-general record. Chabot’s hobbies include climate change denial, and calling the cops on his constituents for recording town halls. Steve-O is also a big ol’ impeachment hypocrite, with a giant campaign finance scandal. We actually sent this creep packing once before; let’s make it stick this time.?

Nick Freitas is a cookie-cutter Rand Rand Paul/Heritage/FreedomWorks jackass who launched himself to wingnut stardom with a deranged, hateful, pro-gun speech on the floor of the House of Delgates that sounds like a bot after being fed 5,000 hours of Fox commentary. Anyway, young Nick is that magic combination of whinging victimhood, regurgitated talking points, and white boy mediocrity that drives Cult45 wild, but holy fuck he has no business writing anybody’s laws.


Celebrity hate-monger Beth Van Duyne rocketed to wingnut superstardom when, as Mayor of Irving, Texas, she said a bunch of hellaciously racist shit to Glenn Beck following the Ahmed Mohamed clock incident, and she’s been vomiting up insane, hateful lies about “Sharia law” ever since. That’s pretty much the whole argument here, “Look how much I hate Muslims, please send me to Congress to hurt them.” Shitty person, shitty mayor…she’d be a super-shitty Congresswoman.

Chip Roy used to be Ted Cruz’s chief of staff, and that’s probably enough to make my case, but here are some other ways he sucks, if you need ‘em: he held up a disaster relief bill in one of his wingnut tantrums, he has wet, sticky feelings about drug company profits, and he’s had lots of crazy, racist, dishonest stuff to say about the pandemic. Roy sucks so hard he almost lost this seat in 2018 when nobody really thought it was in play. I’m sure he’ll be happier back on the Zodiac Killer’s staff anyway.

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