Y‘know, If Putin Put Bounties on Confederate Monuments, He’d Be in Trouble
Tuesday, June 30th, 2020
Mike Pants keeps on holding maskless public events, and COVID-19 keeps on being completely unimpressed, probably because it’s too busy devouring the smorgasbord of freedumb-crazed dipshits that keep jumping in front of it like coked-up lemmings.
Yes, we remain incapable of controlling this outbreak even though we figured out how to control it, because millions of allegedly adult Americans have constructed their entire identities around that impulse a toddler has when it doesn’t want to eat its peas.
Well, freedumb isn’t free, and states like Florida, Arizona, and Texas have spiraled out of control, with some communities even brushing up against their hospital capacity limits, despite having been HANDED A GIFT-WRAPPED MANUAL ON HOW TO AVOID THIS EXACT FUCKING SITUATION.
As always, a few pundits, desperately clinging to obsolete ideas about long-abandoned norms, keep on insisting Pumpkin Spice Pol Pot is playing 12-dimensional chess, distracting America from the Russian bounty scandal with a shocking tweet; that he’s something more than just a terrified, Adderall-saturated primate flinging turds at the wall as fast as he can shit them, to which I say we are now talking about BOTH the white power tweet AND the Putin bounties, so unless Wisconsin contains ten or twenty thousand voters who were going to stay home unless one candidate really distinguished himself in the twin fields of racism and treason, I don’t think this one is playing out in Shart Garfunkel’s favor.
But yes, fallout from Bounties on Our troops? Sounds Great Vlad!-gate continues to mount, because, in perhaps the last area of bipartisan consensus in Washington, even Republicans don’t believe American soldiers should be hunted for sport.
The Shart House initially tried screaming “fake news,” because there are only so many settings on the see n’ say wheel Sarah Slanders passed down to Kayleigh McEnany, but that didn’t work as more and more outlets confirmed the initial story from the Failing New York Times.
As more and more stories surfaced, the date President Liposuction Clinic Dumpster would have received this intelligence in a briefing kept moving further and further back, and his continuing obsequious deference to Putin (“Hey Vlad! Vlad! You wanna come to the G7 at my house, Vlad? I can TOTALLY get you back in, buddy!”) seemed even more treacherous in context.
The current defense seems to be “C’mon, everybody knows the President is way too lazy and stupid to read,” which is…honestly, plausible. Shit, I think they might have us there, folks. The “too incompetent to be criminal” defense has served the GOP well since at least the days of Alberto Gonzales.
http://showercapblog.com/yknow-if-putin-put-b...n-trouble/
Tuesday, June 30th, 2020
Mike Pants keeps on holding maskless public events, and COVID-19 keeps on being completely unimpressed, probably because it’s too busy devouring the smorgasbord of freedumb-crazed dipshits that keep jumping in front of it like coked-up lemmings.
Yes, we remain incapable of controlling this outbreak even though we figured out how to control it, because millions of allegedly adult Americans have constructed their entire identities around that impulse a toddler has when it doesn’t want to eat its peas.
Well, freedumb isn’t free, and states like Florida, Arizona, and Texas have spiraled out of control, with some communities even brushing up against their hospital capacity limits, despite having been HANDED A GIFT-WRAPPED MANUAL ON HOW TO AVOID THIS EXACT FUCKING SITUATION.
As always, a few pundits, desperately clinging to obsolete ideas about long-abandoned norms, keep on insisting Pumpkin Spice Pol Pot is playing 12-dimensional chess, distracting America from the Russian bounty scandal with a shocking tweet; that he’s something more than just a terrified, Adderall-saturated primate flinging turds at the wall as fast as he can shit them, to which I say we are now talking about BOTH the white power tweet AND the Putin bounties, so unless Wisconsin contains ten or twenty thousand voters who were going to stay home unless one candidate really distinguished himself in the twin fields of racism and treason, I don’t think this one is playing out in Shart Garfunkel’s favor.
But yes, fallout from Bounties on Our troops? Sounds Great Vlad!-gate continues to mount, because, in perhaps the last area of bipartisan consensus in Washington, even Republicans don’t believe American soldiers should be hunted for sport.
The Shart House initially tried screaming “fake news,” because there are only so many settings on the see n’ say wheel Sarah Slanders passed down to Kayleigh McEnany, but that didn’t work as more and more outlets confirmed the initial story from the Failing New York Times.
As more and more stories surfaced, the date President Liposuction Clinic Dumpster would have received this intelligence in a briefing kept moving further and further back, and his continuing obsequious deference to Putin (“Hey Vlad! Vlad! You wanna come to the G7 at my house, Vlad? I can TOTALLY get you back in, buddy!”) seemed even more treacherous in context.
The current defense seems to be “C’mon, everybody knows the President is way too lazy and stupid to read,” which is…honestly, plausible. Shit, I think they might have us there, folks. The “too incompetent to be criminal” defense has served the GOP well since at least the days of Alberto Gonzales.
http://showercapblog.com/yknow-if-putin-put-b...n-trouble/
