Give Up Your Guns Because Democrats Will Totally P

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Watching the Minneapolis Police Department abandon its precinct to the torch and crowbar-wielding peaceful protesters in that Democrat-run state and city, my first thought was that I should disarm. After all, I have been reliably informed by our smart and competent elite betters that I don’t need firearms because the police will protect me, and I am sure that even though they can’t defend their own police station they will absolutely defend me, my family, and our pet unicorn Chet.

Confusingly, I have also been reliably informed that the police are evil monsters of racism and badness and that they should be the only ones with guns because of reasons that I am not clear on, but I do know that our smart and competent elite betters know better. If you have any doubts about that, just look at the urban paradise that is progressive Minneapolis. I hear the zoo has a new unicorn exhibit.

But hey, what do you expect of a place that elects noted sister-wife Ilhan Omar?

Now, if I was cynical, I might doubt both the intentions and the competence of the Democrat elite and its media minions, who stood in front of burning and looted buildings solemnly informing us that the people contributing to the conflagration were socially-conscious activists registering their dissatisfaction with the Democratic city’s policing tactics by stealing big screen Vizios and bottles of Jack Daniels. There was a lot of giddy joy in the destruction among the blue check nomenklatura, at least until the peaceful protestors tried to peacefully burn down CNN and turn Tater Stelter into a French fry. Violence is so much more fun when it’s not you being violated.

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