Coronavirus Task Force Officially Split as Fauci Announces Solo Album
By Andy Borowitz
May 6, 2020
Anthony Fauci
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—The rumored breakup of the White House coronavirus task force became official on Wednesday, after Dr. Anthony Fauci announced plans for a solo album.
While fans of the task force had been hoping that the group would somehow stay together, palpable creative differences among the members made Fauci’s decision to go solo “only a matter of time,” one source said.
“By the end, it was clear that Tony couldn’t stand being on the same stage as Trump,” the source said. “It was getting very, very uncomfortable.”
The source scoffed at rumors that Trump might attempt a solo album of his own. “Tony Fauci was the coronavirus task force,” he said.
Speaking to reporters, Fauci said that his upcoming solo release would be full of material that he was prevented from using as a member of the task force.
“I have a lot inside me that I wasn’t allowed to express,” Fauci said. “The creative freedom of doing this album has been amazing.”
The first video from the album, “Don’t Reopen (Yet),” featuring Bill Gates, will drop next week, Fauci said.
Once his solo album is finished, the esteemed virologist said that he planned to tour extensively to promote it. “I’ve always wanted to play the House of Representatives,” he said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-repo...Y_Borowitz
By Andy Borowitz
May 6, 2020
Anthony Fauci
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—The rumored breakup of the White House coronavirus task force became official on Wednesday, after Dr. Anthony Fauci announced plans for a solo album.
While fans of the task force had been hoping that the group would somehow stay together, palpable creative differences among the members made Fauci’s decision to go solo “only a matter of time,” one source said.
“By the end, it was clear that Tony couldn’t stand being on the same stage as Trump,” the source said. “It was getting very, very uncomfortable.”
The source scoffed at rumors that Trump might attempt a solo album of his own. “Tony Fauci was the coronavirus task force,” he said.
Speaking to reporters, Fauci said that his upcoming solo release would be full of material that he was prevented from using as a member of the task force.
“I have a lot inside me that I wasn’t allowed to express,” Fauci said. “The creative freedom of doing this album has been amazing.”
The first video from the album, “Don’t Reopen (Yet),” featuring Bill Gates, will drop next week, Fauci said.
Once his solo album is finished, the esteemed virologist said that he planned to tour extensively to promote it. “I’ve always wanted to play the House of Representatives,” he said.
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-repo...Y_Borowitz
