Who had the worst night of all last night? Hint: It wasn't Bloomberg, Sanders, Warren ... or Trump
The White House phone was on speed dial last night to the Kremlin, with Trump spitting obscenities and begging for help from his boss, Vlad. It got to the point where Putin rolled his eyes, pressed the mute button and handed the phone off to one of his flunkies, with Trump’s voice still babbling incoherently out of the little speaker. Putin looked around the room, smiled and shook his head.
Could this stupid, spoiled, third-rate New York City conman possibly be more annoying? Our intelligence services spent all that time getting him in there, duping his supporters with our propaganda and bankrolling their fucking NRA.
You’d think this fool could have handled a simple, quiet private phone call to Ukraine. But no. He had to get everyone tell everyone in his orbit involved. Well you did realize you were working in a fucking democracy, didn’t you, idiot?
There are rules you need to plan around if you want to get a foreign power involved in your election. Or did you forget all about that Mueller investigation?
Now everything is back to square one, Putin thought to himself. I’m starting to wonder if this was even worth it.
We fed him the Burisma disinformation op through our usual channels in the American rightwing media. Breitbart, Fox News, Hannity, all of our puppets. If he had just completed that one task—one task without getting caught no one would have been the wiser. One lousy phone call. I mean, he could have handed this one off to Donald Jr. That worked before!
One lousy phone call, and the whole scheme was in the open. How many more Republican congressmen must I “engage,” Donald? How many senators?
And the worst part of all of this—it was working! That Biden idiot ran a crappy campaign. He was dead in the water. The American kids would all come out and vote for Sanders, my GRU wizards told me. Then it would be easy —nothing easier than telling Americans a socialist was coming to take all their money and put them into government-run health care camps.
Even Wall Street would have played along, probably funding Trump themselves just to avoid that outcome. Well that was a bust, wasn’t it? Sure, those kids showed up at the rallies, but when Tuesday came around I guess some of them were too busy staring into their iPhones to come out and vote.
Meanwhile the idiot couldn’t keep off of Twitter, practically telegraphing the Democratic electorate who he most feared to face in the election. You think those voters weren’t paying attention? God dammit, you just don’t do that. You don’t give the game away. Hillary had real baggage we could exploit. This one—not so much.
Now I’m stuck pumping racist memes into Facebook day and night to inflame his moron base just so I can keep this Obama clone out of my business. I can try to convince them he’s too old, too gaffe-prone, too “handsy.” But who knows if it’s going to work again?
The turnout numbers last night were off the charts. There’s only so much disinformation you can spread before people start to tune it out. But now I can’t use the “socialized health care” gambit, I can’t even use socialism.
This stupid coronavirus thing screwed the stock market and we can’t control that. All I’ve got is fucking Hunter Biden. You know what? After last night, I don’t think Democrats give a flying fuck about Hunter Biden.
They told me when all this started back in 2015 that I couldn’t trust him. “He’s got some mental issues that we just can’t work around,” they said. “Not stable,” they said. They told me this is what was going to happen. I should have listened.
Putin smashed his fist down onto the speaker, cutting off Trump in mid-sentence. The room was filled with an eerie silence, his aides holding their breath as they watched their boss melt down.
“Maybe it just means you’ll be in jail four years earlier than you expected,” he exclaimed angrily at the phone.
Then he wiped his brow and stared at the electoral map on his screen.
Pennsylvania’s probably out. Same with Michigan. We’ve got a shot in Wisconsin, but we’re really going to have to carpet bomb with our propaganda. Still not even sure that will work. At least the gun stuff will probably keep Texas in our pocket.
Then he caught himself, and grimaced. I can’t believe I’m worried about Texas now.
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2020/3/4/192...n=trending
The White House phone was on speed dial last night to the Kremlin, with Trump spitting obscenities and begging for help from his boss, Vlad. It got to the point where Putin rolled his eyes, pressed the mute button and handed the phone off to one of his flunkies, with Trump’s voice still babbling incoherently out of the little speaker. Putin looked around the room, smiled and shook his head.
Could this stupid, spoiled, third-rate New York City conman possibly be more annoying? Our intelligence services spent all that time getting him in there, duping his supporters with our propaganda and bankrolling their fucking NRA.
You’d think this fool could have handled a simple, quiet private phone call to Ukraine. But no. He had to get everyone tell everyone in his orbit involved. Well you did realize you were working in a fucking democracy, didn’t you, idiot?
There are rules you need to plan around if you want to get a foreign power involved in your election. Or did you forget all about that Mueller investigation?
Now everything is back to square one, Putin thought to himself. I’m starting to wonder if this was even worth it.
We fed him the Burisma disinformation op through our usual channels in the American rightwing media. Breitbart, Fox News, Hannity, all of our puppets. If he had just completed that one task—one task without getting caught no one would have been the wiser. One lousy phone call. I mean, he could have handed this one off to Donald Jr. That worked before!
One lousy phone call, and the whole scheme was in the open. How many more Republican congressmen must I “engage,” Donald? How many senators?
And the worst part of all of this—it was working! That Biden idiot ran a crappy campaign. He was dead in the water. The American kids would all come out and vote for Sanders, my GRU wizards told me. Then it would be easy —nothing easier than telling Americans a socialist was coming to take all their money and put them into government-run health care camps.
Even Wall Street would have played along, probably funding Trump themselves just to avoid that outcome. Well that was a bust, wasn’t it? Sure, those kids showed up at the rallies, but when Tuesday came around I guess some of them were too busy staring into their iPhones to come out and vote.
Meanwhile the idiot couldn’t keep off of Twitter, practically telegraphing the Democratic electorate who he most feared to face in the election. You think those voters weren’t paying attention? God dammit, you just don’t do that. You don’t give the game away. Hillary had real baggage we could exploit. This one—not so much.
Now I’m stuck pumping racist memes into Facebook day and night to inflame his moron base just so I can keep this Obama clone out of my business. I can try to convince them he’s too old, too gaffe-prone, too “handsy.” But who knows if it’s going to work again?
The turnout numbers last night were off the charts. There’s only so much disinformation you can spread before people start to tune it out. But now I can’t use the “socialized health care” gambit, I can’t even use socialism.
This stupid coronavirus thing screwed the stock market and we can’t control that. All I’ve got is fucking Hunter Biden. You know what? After last night, I don’t think Democrats give a flying fuck about Hunter Biden.
They told me when all this started back in 2015 that I couldn’t trust him. “He’s got some mental issues that we just can’t work around,” they said. “Not stable,” they said. They told me this is what was going to happen. I should have listened.
Putin smashed his fist down onto the speaker, cutting off Trump in mid-sentence. The room was filled with an eerie silence, his aides holding their breath as they watched their boss melt down.
“Maybe it just means you’ll be in jail four years earlier than you expected,” he exclaimed angrily at the phone.
Then he wiped his brow and stared at the electoral map on his screen.
Pennsylvania’s probably out. Same with Michigan. We’ve got a shot in Wisconsin, but we’re really going to have to carpet bomb with our propaganda. Still not even sure that will work. At least the gun stuff will probably keep Texas in our pocket.
Then he caught himself, and grimaced. I can’t believe I’m worried about Texas now.
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2020/3/4/192...n=trending
