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Pro Tip: Do not drink and wrap presents. Also, if

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Post# of 126510
(Total Views: 203)
Posted On: 12/19/2019 4:29:32 PM
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Posted By: wowhappens28
Pro Tip: Do not drink and wrap presents.
Also, if anyone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm gonna need that back.

Whenever I’m pissed off at my wife
I turn all of the shampoo bottles right side up in the shower.

If you have the facts on your side,pound the facts.
If you have the law on your side, pound the law.
If you have neither on your side, pound the table.

When I was a kid,
we had to do emojis with our face.

No matter how tough you think you are,
there's always a closed pistachio ready to mess you up.

Santa: I can't wait for the cookies
I'm gonna get in Colorado.

WD-40 is an essential oil, should head the list.

My Mistake...
My girlfriend asked me if I'd like a threesome, and who out of her friends I would pick. Apparently I was only supposed to name one, not two.

Source: SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib


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