I tried saving a cat in a tree but the darn thing
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Posted On: 12/16/2019 4:26:29 PM
I tried saving a cat in a tree but the darn thing wouldn't accept Jesus
Sorry I yelled "chug it" to your baby, as you were breastfeeding.
Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.
If I say, "Don't worry, I'm on it," there's a 98% chance I'm referring to my couch.
I'm lazy, but not 'The guy who named blackbirds' lazy.
You can tell which inmates were involved in organized crime because their cells are much neater than other prisoners’.
I hate waiting in line. I wish this guy would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Hey Billy Joel it's called a "pianist"
Maybe, just once, someone will call me sir without adding, "You're making a scene”
Airline just told my girlfriend she has too much baggage & they've only known her a couple of minutes.
Dentist: this is gonna hurt a little bit
Me: ok
Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom
Source:
SHORENUFFSTUFF@iFib
Sorry I yelled "chug it" to your baby, as you were breastfeeding.
Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.
If I say, "Don't worry, I'm on it," there's a 98% chance I'm referring to my couch.
I'm lazy, but not 'The guy who named blackbirds' lazy.
You can tell which inmates were involved in organized crime because their cells are much neater than other prisoners’.
I hate waiting in line. I wish this guy would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Hey Billy Joel it's called a "pianist"
Maybe, just once, someone will call me sir without adding, "You're making a scene”
Airline just told my girlfriend she has too much baggage & they've only known her a couple of minutes.
Dentist: this is gonna hurt a little bit
Me: ok
Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom
Source:
SHORENUFFSTUFF@iFib
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