If where you live doesn't have numbers on it, you
Post# of 27046
you really need to address that.
She passed on the scalloped potatoes because
"I don't really like seafood."
It was at that moment where I knew she was dumb enough to sleep with me.
If you put away the clean laundry on the same day that you wash it,
I feel like that’s what you should lead with on your resume.
Calling your girlfriend your "lady friend"
is a great way to let everyone know you both met on Craigslist.
I like my women like I like my coffee,
hot and all over my crotch when I’m driving.
Interviewer: give me an example of when you’ve been a team player?
Me: once my friend wanted to sleep with this girl but she was married.
Interviewer: and you?
Me: distracted her husband with an interview.
Life is like a box of chocolates...…...it doesn't last long for fat people.
What do women and police cars have in common?
They both make a lot of noise to let you know they're coming.
Source: SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib