Subject: Rodney Dangerfield on Marriage ! "Went

Subject: Rodney Dangerfield on Marriage !


"Went out last night and got really wasted. I woke up in the middle of
the night next to some chick who was snoring and farting, so I knew I
made it home OK!"

******
"I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
"foreplay" as she likes to call it."

******
"After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife
were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she
killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Fuck
it, soldier on!""

******
"I woke up this morning at 8, and could smell something was wrong. I
got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not
breathing! I panicked. I didn ´t know what to do. Then I remembered
McDonald ´s serves breakfast until 11:30."

******
"Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair
last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel."

******
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I 'd slept with. I
told her, "Only you. All the
others kept me awake all night!"
******
My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she
screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!"
"Oh," I replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

******

"I 've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife
look like she 's moving during sex."


God Bless Rodney !