Waiting for launch. In debt up to my nose, wif
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Posted On: 09/19/2019 5:05:44 AM
Waiting for launch.
In debt up to my nose, wife stole my house, wrecked my car, and neutered my dog.
Kids took my baseball card collection, broke my Luke Skywalker 25th anniversary action figure, pissed in my garden, "borrowed" my motorcycle, and got some sticky shit all over my best suit.
Brother and sister cut down my favorite azalea bush with my chainsaw.....liked the chainsaw so much they took it to get serviced, that was five weeks ago and now I'm noticing how incredibly neat and trimmed their yard looks. Then they told my wife I had an affair 17 years ago and I had an illegitimate son from that whole fling.
Now the wife is taking me to divorce court and my parents are both on her side. Dad swore he'd write me out of the will. Mom just held her head and said "how could you, how could you?" Over and over.
Got a foreclosure notice from the bank telling me I had thirty days to pay or they would put the house up for auction......good, if she wants to steal the house, let her deal with that shit.
The gardener just sent me a bill too. Seems my wife somehow ....forgot.... to pay the gardener the $75 per week for the last 5 or 6 months.
So come on Doctor Dalton! I'm ready, my dog is ready, my neighbors who are totally on my side through the divorce are ready.
My wife....she will never be ready for anything that involves adding more than two or three numbers at once. She's a little IQ challenged.
The kids, well they were ready....like fifty times, but only for a few seconds each time.
So I am more than ready. Anyone else ready....really, really ready?
In debt up to my nose, wife stole my house, wrecked my car, and neutered my dog.
Kids took my baseball card collection, broke my Luke Skywalker 25th anniversary action figure, pissed in my garden, "borrowed" my motorcycle, and got some sticky shit all over my best suit.
Brother and sister cut down my favorite azalea bush with my chainsaw.....liked the chainsaw so much they took it to get serviced, that was five weeks ago and now I'm noticing how incredibly neat and trimmed their yard looks. Then they told my wife I had an affair 17 years ago and I had an illegitimate son from that whole fling.
Now the wife is taking me to divorce court and my parents are both on her side. Dad swore he'd write me out of the will. Mom just held her head and said "how could you, how could you?" Over and over.
Got a foreclosure notice from the bank telling me I had thirty days to pay or they would put the house up for auction......good, if she wants to steal the house, let her deal with that shit.
The gardener just sent me a bill too. Seems my wife somehow ....forgot.... to pay the gardener the $75 per week for the last 5 or 6 months.
So come on Doctor Dalton! I'm ready, my dog is ready, my neighbors who are totally on my side through the divorce are ready.
My wife....she will never be ready for anything that involves adding more than two or three numbers at once. She's a little IQ challenged.
The kids, well they were ready....like fifty times, but only for a few seconds each time.
So I am more than ready. Anyone else ready....really, really ready?
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