Twice-baked potatoes, refried beans, etc.: Damn, p
Post# of 123729
I gave up my Ego, because I am so much better than that..................
When your wife says she needs a new broom it's best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
Forget beauty sleep. I want skinny sleep.
Without ME, it’s just AWESO.
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
When I see a girl with a lot of makeup, I want to use my finger and write WASH ME on her face…
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
Facial recognition software can pick out a person in a crowd, but this stupid vending machine at work can't recognize my dollar bill with a bent corner...
Source:SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib