Shitty Orwell Theatre Presents: We Have Always Bee
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Posted On: 07/30/2019 9:23:38 AM
Shitty Orwell Theatre Presents: We Have Always Been at War with Baltimore, and Other Tales
Monday, July 29th, 2019
by Shower Cap | American Madness Journal | 0 comments
http://showercapblog.com/shitty-orwell-theatr...her-tales/
I don’t know why I do this, y’all. Every damn day is the same, reading the news is like biting into a donut, hoping for raspberry filling, only to wind up with a mouthful of cat litter and broken glass.
Oh well, I’ve built up some calluses on the roof of my mouth by now, might as well do this shit.
Mitch McConnell, in an uncharacteristic departure from his traditional posture of smug hypocrisy, is suddenly mega-pissy that everyone’s calling him out for blocking election security bills, calling him a “Russian asset” JUST BECAUSE he’s behaving exactly like a Senate Majority Leader would if he were a fucking Russian asset, in that he is BLOCKING ELECTION SECURITY BILLS.
Honestly, what would a Russian asset do any differently? Jam a funnel in Chuck Schumer’s mouth on the Senate floor and pour borscht down his throat?
Wrinkly Gamera claims the bills are “partisan.” That’s right, folks. Defending the United States of America from a foreign enemy, which has attacked us, will attack us again, and according to Rugged Robert Mueller, is attacking us even as you read this hilariously juvenile blog, is PARTISAN.
I mean, I was already a proud Democrat, but now that we’re the only team who thinks national security is a good thing, I may just set up automatic monthly donations.
And golly gee, it looks like Vlad Putin may have to interfere in his own country’s elections for a change, judging by his violent authoritarian crackdown on demonstrators over the weekend.
By the way, you know Hairplug Himmler watches footage of Russian cops beating up protesters like Paula Deen peering through the window of a butter factory.
Dan Coats stood out like the sorest of thumbs in the Shart Administration, not only was he qualified for his post, he actually wanted to do his job and protect the U.S. from Russian interference rather than inviting our enemies over for scones and Mr. Pibb.
So naturally, he’s been forced out, to be replaced by some random haircut called John Ratcliffe, who apparently landed the gig when Il Douche saw him babbling like howler monkey jacked up on bath salts on his magic teevee box.
Monday, July 29th, 2019
by Shower Cap | American Madness Journal | 0 comments
http://showercapblog.com/shitty-orwell-theatr...her-tales/
I don’t know why I do this, y’all. Every damn day is the same, reading the news is like biting into a donut, hoping for raspberry filling, only to wind up with a mouthful of cat litter and broken glass.
Oh well, I’ve built up some calluses on the roof of my mouth by now, might as well do this shit.
Mitch McConnell, in an uncharacteristic departure from his traditional posture of smug hypocrisy, is suddenly mega-pissy that everyone’s calling him out for blocking election security bills, calling him a “Russian asset” JUST BECAUSE he’s behaving exactly like a Senate Majority Leader would if he were a fucking Russian asset, in that he is BLOCKING ELECTION SECURITY BILLS.
Honestly, what would a Russian asset do any differently? Jam a funnel in Chuck Schumer’s mouth on the Senate floor and pour borscht down his throat?
Wrinkly Gamera claims the bills are “partisan.” That’s right, folks. Defending the United States of America from a foreign enemy, which has attacked us, will attack us again, and according to Rugged Robert Mueller, is attacking us even as you read this hilariously juvenile blog, is PARTISAN.
I mean, I was already a proud Democrat, but now that we’re the only team who thinks national security is a good thing, I may just set up automatic monthly donations.
And golly gee, it looks like Vlad Putin may have to interfere in his own country’s elections for a change, judging by his violent authoritarian crackdown on demonstrators over the weekend.
By the way, you know Hairplug Himmler watches footage of Russian cops beating up protesters like Paula Deen peering through the window of a butter factory.
Dan Coats stood out like the sorest of thumbs in the Shart Administration, not only was he qualified for his post, he actually wanted to do his job and protect the U.S. from Russian interference rather than inviting our enemies over for scones and Mr. Pibb.
So naturally, he’s been forced out, to be replaced by some random haircut called John Ratcliffe, who apparently landed the gig when Il Douche saw him babbling like howler monkey jacked up on bath salts on his magic teevee box.
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