Every time I start to feel happy I remember the sh
Post# of 123736
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Posted On: 07/19/2019 2:42:35 PM
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
"it's the thought that counts" doesn't include showering. You have to actually do that.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I'm making you up.
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don't have one.
Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.
Boss: "Thanks for the coffee. You know what'd go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a donu...Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
Source:SHJORENUFFSTUFF at iFib
"it's the thought that counts" doesn't include showering. You have to actually do that.
As I rise from my slumber the children scream in horror, as they did not know I was in the McDonald's Playland ball pit.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I'm making you up.
When I die I want my body donated to science, but more specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead guys back to life…
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don't have one.
Talking louder does not make you any less wrong.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman. Experience tells me that if my eyes are open, I get a lot more pepper spray in them.
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.
Boss: "Thanks for the coffee. You know what'd go well with this?" Me: "The antidote?" Boss: "No, a donu...Wait, what?" Me: "Nothing"
Source:SHJORENUFFSTUFF at iFib
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