Growing up my Mom told me I could be anybody I wan
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Posted On: 05/25/2019 9:12:54 PM
Growing up my Mom told me I could be anybody I wanted to be.
Turns out that this is called identity theft.
I don’t watch soccer.
If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would take my friends to the bar.
Do you know why I mix laxatives in with my pot brownies ?
For shits and giggles.
My friend found his wife on that dating app called Tinder.
It was only six months after their wedding.
Why don’t Canadians have group sex?
Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
When I go I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather. Not like his passengers crying and screaming for their lives.
Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Me: “Damn, dumb shit. Did you already forget?”
Source, SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib
Turns out that this is called identity theft.
I don’t watch soccer.
If I wanted to watch somebody struggle to score for 90 minutes, I would take my friends to the bar.
Do you know why I mix laxatives in with my pot brownies ?
For shits and giggles.
My friend found his wife on that dating app called Tinder.
It was only six months after their wedding.
Why don’t Canadians have group sex?
Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
When I go I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather. Not like his passengers crying and screaming for their lives.
Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Me: “Damn, dumb shit. Did you already forget?”
Source, SHORENUFFSTUFF at iFib
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