I will never hear a song and wonder who the artist

I will never hear a song and wonder who the artist is and Shazam it. I'll always be lost and stuck in traffic without GPS and WAYZ. Nor will I ever know the joys of swiping left, or right on Tinder. I'll never find a hot hooker on Backpage. I'll never stop mid-conversation to just Google it. I'll never have friends on FaceBook. I'll never Tweet, or get the news from Instagram. I'll never be drunk and order a Lyft or Uber. Never have a Big Mac and fries delivered to my door with DoorDash, or Tacos from Uber Eats. Gee fellas, life without a smartphone kinda sucks! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP!